Breaking News

White smoke has been spotted from the Brolympic Conclave, and a roster decision has been made.  Drum roll please...

After much deliberating, numerous polls, backroom deals and a chalk board resembling Will Hunting's... it has been determined that teams will remain the same.  This was not the easiest of processes, and may not please everyone, but a compromise has been reached.  Same teams, with the caveat that events will need tinkered with.  Specifics have not been nailed down, but in order to keep teams the same, some of the physical events will be modified.  If this doesn't help close the gap, then next year teams will be blown up. We appreciate everyone's feedback and passionate responses involving feces.  

That being said, now we can focus on more entertaining topics, like adding events, Friday evening expansion, and favorite porn sites.  (All American Midget Tossing Pornorama?)  Speaking of good old fashion fun, I'll be emailing everyone for t-shirt sizes so I can start that glorious process.

Final thought...everyone have October 12 blocked off still?  No weddings, anniversaries, bed bath and beyond or excuses. 

Be there, or be dead.

New Feature Alert

Looking to add some content in between brain storming sessions and legitimate updates, I've decided to add some inspirational pictures found on the interweb.  These will either inspire you to new heights or motivate you to keep from ending up like the poor chumps in the photos.  Without further ado:

Picture Pages

Let's just assume Billy C. is cool with us using the title.

Inspired yet?

How about now?  Rose?

I'm not going to judge, still looks refreshing.

I propose we make this a prop bet, just so someone's neck is used as a junk rest.

Clear as Mud

Here are the results of our latest survey:

As you can see, we are in a dead heat for Keeping Teams the Same and Trade Scenario #1.  This may seem like a nuisance to some, but we are going to have to drill down the results and present one more survey w/ only the top two options as choices.  I know it's a long way away to be thinking about teams, but trust me, they need solidified before some awesome planning can continue. 

ROSTER VOTE 2.0

(please answer by 5/19/13)

Short of getting everyone together for a Billy Madison style debate over the choices, I hope this is the fairest resolution.  

As a review:

There is a thought that last years Team Green will never win Basketball or Hockey (or possibly bowling).  That automatically puts them at a -2 handicap.  Thus the Anthony/ Chad swap.  Anthony helping Team Green in Hockey and Basketball and fitting in nicely all around.  Chad helping Maroon in Hockey, a consistent bowler, co-mvp of Cornhole and fitting in nicely all around.(that's what she said)

The counter argument is to leave the teams the same.  Team Green is a rule change away from winning shoes and at least tying the day at 5-5.  With the tiebreak being who could wake Chris up without losing an appendage*.

*pending league approval

Thanks again for input, always striving to make the day weekend as fair and as fun as possible. I promise all this nonsense will be worth it.   

Shock the Monkey

Alright fellas, so the previously reliable Blogger poll appears to not be saving anyone's votes.  I have no idea how much feedback has been turned in or what the results are.  That being said, I have been forced to reach out to a second party website to create this one question survey.  Take a look at this survey monkey link and vote again.  Same question, same choices.  Let's bang this out so I can prepare for a variety of team specific needs for BROIV. 

Let's try to have everyone toss a vote out by Monday, May 13.  If this works, maybe I'll use this site for more feedback related questions. (until I run this bitch like a dictator, and wipe my ass with the results)

Editorial note: look at the range of this post...from a gorilla in an electric chair to Kim Jon riding a decorated horse.  I feel a 2013 Webby coming Brolympic Platinum's way. 

How is this possible?

Almost 80 people viewed the blog yesterday?  I'm going to go out on a limb and assume we all looked at it eight times.  Actually, I know at least ten are me. Not that I'm (that) in love with my own work and/or a narcissist.

 I simply need that many reads to catch 90% 65% of my typos and to fine tune hastily thrown together Photoshops. 

Also, somehow the poll went from two votes to zero over night.  Maybe two of you changed your minds over night, or the website ate your votes.  Keep voting I guess?  I'll try and monitor to see if it's a continuing issue or not.

Either way, thanks for reading, people who may not be people I know...but are probably people I know.  You are (or most likely aren't) the best. 

Hot Stove Action

We've managed to get three good years out of this event with the same ten guys and the same two teams.  Unfortunately for one team, it has resulted in the same outcome each year.  Every year there are talks of mixing things up, adding players, etc.  Lets take a second and explore some of the more popular options as well as the pro/cons of each:

OPTION ONE- Keep Teams the Same

Pros: The last two years the competition has come down to the last event.  There has yet to be an all out blow out, so the talent is fairly even already.  A healthy rivalary is already established.

Cons: The same team has lost every year. 

OPTION TWO- Blow up teams, complete redraft

Pros: I got to use this picture

Cons: Eliminates already established rivalries. Risk of even more unbalanced teams.

OPTION THREE- Expansion

 Pros: May even out athletic events in that it will add a pair of fresh legs for substitution purposes, or add a more athletic person on a team that needs it.  Norm.

Cons: Difficult to find two people that fit the criteria of knowing everyone and understanding the good nature of the day.  Risk flipping good chemistry of day by adding too competitive of individual.  (ex. Past Turkey Bowl participants that have treated event like a draft combine)

OPTION FOUR- Trade Scenario #1

 Chad/ Anthony swap: Team Green would get an upgrade at basketball. Team Maroon would get an established goalie, which would allow Lewis out of net. 

 OPTION FIVE- Trade Scenario # 2

 Mike E./ Nate swap: Team Green would get an athletic upgrade all around.  Team Maroon would get a rusty, out of shape goalie which would allow Lewis out of net.  Could cause a Hatfield/McCoy situation between Erno cousins.

A poll will be up for a week or so to get your input.  Rosters need finalized so BROIV planning can continue in a timely fashion.  More polls to come. 

Update O'Clock- Part IV

Dickheads, this tomfoolery has gone on long enough. Let's finish this:

Event 8: FLIP CUP

The aftermath of the Lord of the Rings-like journey to the golf course was ugly.  People were semi-comatose ready drop over in Brolympic HQ.  There were blasphemous whispers of cutting corners/ skipping events/ female circumcisions.  Then out of no where, a pep talk/ questioning of manhood/ murderous threat from Chris woke everyone the eff up.  Needless to say, it was very effective.

Everyone rallied big time.  What started as a best of three, turned into a best of five, which then turned into the standard best of seven rounds of flip cup.  It was glorious.  Unfortunately there is more footage of the Kennedy assassination than there is of this event.  Team Green wins perhaps their best event (historically) as they attempt to provide the kagels to this days events and make the score tighter. 

                                         Team Maroon: 5               Team Green: 3

Event 9: SUPER BEER PONG

Flip Cup put a hurting on a couple contestants.  If one is to believe folklore and/or wikipedia maybe half the participants were able to drink their fair share during beer pong.  While everyone else acted like they were knocked up and drank for two.  I know I was getting thirsty again by this time of the evening and welcomed the additional pilsner.  While others delicate palates prevented them from drinking the prepared pong cups and resorted to drinking out of their thermos of Busch Light to keep things fair.

Point proven.

Some emergency pizzas were ordered, but it was too late.  The night devolved into the Vancouver Riots.  The fire ring was moved from down in the yard up to the driveway...lit, like an Olympic Brolympic Torch.  Objects and booze where being sacrificed to the fire.  I think I saw a goats head at some point. (unconfirmed)  I just assumed Rossello was shooting a video for Disturbed.  Somewhere along the way Team Green kept their streak alive and made event ten a pivotal match up.

                                         Team Maroon: 5               Team Green: 4

Event Ten: NES SPORTS CHALLENGE

If things were getting fuzzy four events ago, than the likelihood of anything factual coming from this part of the recap is highly unlikely.  All but the fact that we had a participant go MIA.

Half way through the event we noticed Chris was missing.  He was up soon, so I went outside looking for him.  He was nowhere to be found.  Climbing inside the mind of an animal, I tried to figure out where I would go if I was him.  This lead my hunt to the woods behind Brolympic HQ, where I received some good news and some not so great news.  The good news was that I got to third base with a knotty red maple, the bad news being Chris was nowhere to be found.  Simultaneously satisfied and dejected, I returned inside to find that it was my turn.  

During my turn, Chris was stumbled upon like a dead hooker on Law & Order: SVU.  Many tried to revive him.  The fans where chanting his name, but he eventually was counted out as if Rowdy Roddy Piper had just had his way with him.  Two years in a row, and the Erno cousins are answers to surprising prop bets. (So what?  We leave it all on the field...sometimes literally)

Back to the event at hand.  Since Chris could not compete, a call to the bullpen was made and Rossello had to compete again...and for the symmetry of it all, he faced off against Motz in a similar situation to last year...only this time it was in PRO WRESTLING.  I wish I had video...or a thread of memory of how close the match really was.  All I know is Motz put Rose on his back 1-2-3, and that was it. 

                                         Team Maroon: 6               Team Green: 4

Back to back to back, THREE-PEAT CHAMPIONS- TEAM MAROON!  

As always, it was a blast.  Thanks again for another great year.  Stay tuned for feedback needed for BROIV.  I've had somethings in the hopper since the day after BROIII.  Needless to say, BROIV should be better than ever.