BROLYMPIC IX PROP BET EXTRAVAGANZA

The wait is finally over.  Time to squeeze some time into your busy schedule and answer a very brief seventy-six question prop bet document.  So tell your kids to read their own GD bedtime story or wipe their own asses, and get to it. 

BROIX PROP BET EXTRAVAGANZA

For scramble questions, I believe everyone is golfing except for Mike M.  Finally, do a fella a favor and get some answers back to me by Monday morning, Sept. 17th. Enjoy you degenerates!

YOUR BROLYMPIC IX STARTING LINE UPS- PART TWO

As detailed in Part One- this year's Starting Line Ups are flashing back to the guys first taste of commercial success.

Let's get a look at the defending champs!

Unnaturally effective at the bowling alley, a mayfly family will go through six generations in the time it takes one of his rolls to reach the pins, let's hear it for:

He's loaded for bear this Brolympics, with a combined ABV stash that is higher than most third world countries.  He's the commish for a reason, let's say hey to:

He would be fine if Brolympics was a best of 64 Super Tecmo bowl tournament, add unlimited Ellio's and he'd need to change his pants.  Let's give a warm BROIX hand to: 

This guy appears and disappears like the Candyman at every Brolympics and he frequently shits log cabins made of slim jims.  Only one of those things may be true.  Let's give it up for:

He'll obliterate your genitalia with one errant soccer shot, but let's all hope for the best.  You best cover yo nutz for:

Well, there you have it!  Another year of spending waaaaaaaay too much time scouring the internet for the best pics of our Bro-Athletes.  Best of luck to all our competitors, enjoy the games!

YOUR BROLYMPIC IX STARTING LINE UPS- PART ONE

As you can imagine, entering year nine, our bro-athletes are in high demand. Public appearances, ribbon cuttings, kissing babies, bonging malt beverages, etc. To celebrate this year's starting line ups, lets take a look back at some of the fellas early advertising work.

First up are the 2017 runner ups-

He purchases golf equipment like a doomsday prepper hoards canned goods, let's hear it for:

This Bro-Prepper's biggest nemesis has been a combination of driveways and gravity, let's give it up for: 

This bro prefers his competition on the side of the house, but let's hope he's not doing some porcelain praying this year.  Give some big ups for:

Creator of the Joose/ Crossfit program, this competitor is one Saquon Barkley tattoo away from getting his punch card filled.  Let the bodies hit the floor for: 

Last but not least... this competitor strives for a healthy life balance.  That's why he swears by Hornitos on the front nine and Tanteo on the back.  Give it up for:

Best of luck to these guys getting another taste from the cup. 

Up Next: The Defending Champs

BROLYMPIC IX SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

FRIDAY AM:

- Golf (8:30 a.m.)

FRIDAY AFTERNOON:

- Scramble (2:30 p.m.)

FRIDAY NIGHT 

- Selection Show (? p.m.)

- Basement Golf

- Billiards

- Darts

- Stumps

SATURDAY- BROLYMPIC IX

- Super Beer Pong (8:30 a.m.)

- Horse Shoes (9 a.m.)

- Corn Hole (9 a.m.)

- Home Run Derby (10:15 a.m.)

- Soccer Shootout 2.0 (11 a.m.)

- Volleyball (12 noon)

- Van Arrives (1:30 p.m.)

- Bowling (2 p.m.)

- Three Point Shooout

- Foosball

- Pong Baseball

Teaser

BROCHO RECAPABLES- Part Two

FRIDAY

Early Friday morning, the Commish documented the calm before the storm:

Things would be significantly less tranquil hours later.

As bro-athletes started to roll into HQ, they were met w/ a sniff and sometimes nip of the crotch by the official four legged friend of The Brocho.  Another fun, unofficial game is to see how much stuff 9 extra dudes can cram into Bro HQ.  

 A.M. GOLF

Weaver, Ty, Deluca and Chris started the Friday festivities with an 8:30 a.m. tee time.  Things got off to a rocky start when the foursome realized that the Hornitos was forgotten.  It was a real Kevin McCallister situation.

Although Chris was trying to compensate by consuming a Busch Light per hole.  Three hours into the round, perhaps the funniest phrase ever uttered at a Brolympics was unleashed...by the Course Ranger. 

SCRAMBLE

After a lunch at the always reliable Iron Valley Clubhouse, the scramble tee'd off at 1:30 p.m.  We split into three groups of three.

Group One- Weaver, Chris and Mike E. - unofficial team name "Team Werno"

Group Two- Ty, Rose and Nate- unofficial team name "Team Leg Day"

Group Three- Chad, Anthony, and Steve- unofficial team name "Team SAC" 

I don't have a lot of news from the other trios, but Team Werno had plenty of documentation.  I don't golf that much, is a triple bogey in a scramble good? Here we are paying our appropriate dues for our combined ineptitude. 

Much later, and possibly unrelated...sometime between the 15th and 16th, I heard a hellacious thump, turned around and witnessed this:

Weav dumped Chris face first into the hill. Unfortunately only caught the aftermath.  Weav felt pretty bad about it too- "My abs are injured from laughing".  Some other less painful pics from the afternoon:

 MONKEY!

 Another pic of Weav and his shitty form.  What a loser.

I'm out of captions...how about, Upper Allen man surprise humps Georgia man's ear? Georgia man has no complaints. 

 Nate effectively keeping the rowdy gallery quiet.

Busch Light's stock always sky rockets in September/ October for some reason.

 Hoooooooooorn....

 ...itos!

This is what +9 through 15 looks like.  

Ultimately the trio of (insert your own memory) was triumphant, and everyone headed back to the club house for the pre-selection show meal. Another great afternoon spent on the links with this crew.

PROP BETS:

• Longest Drive Hole #1- Mike E.
• First in Sand Trap: Weaver
• First to Lose Ball: Anthony
• First Player to Complete Par: Mike E.
• First Hornitos Side Bet: Over/Under Hole 3.5- Over (Hole 4)

UP NEXT:

• Pool Time
• Selection Show
• Hot Tub Time Machine
• Georgia Jet Lag

BROCHO RECAPABLES- Part One

Can you feel it in the air? I'm no Phil Collins, but it feels like BROIX is right around the corner. Of course that means the BROCHO needs recapped ASAP. So lets skip the wordy preamble and dive in.

FAVORITE NEW TRADITION
By far my favorite new tradition of the days leading up to Brolympics is the sharing of packing pictures. Nothing gets me more excited, or my liver so anxious.

THURS NIGHT
Anthony, and Mike E. started their weekend residency Thursday night at Brolympics HQ.  We must have been good boys, because Santa Deluca had another nice surprise for us:

Meanwhile, the Commish had a minor science experiment/ craft project for us to work on.  Some light mopping was needed, but over all a successful endeavor.  

A combination of the keg and a ridiculously fun basement putting/ drinking challenge resulted in more beverages than this author was prepared to indulge.  Honestly that's my fault.  The second you dip your toe into Bro HQ, it's game on.  

Up Next:

• Tequila Sunrise/ Golf Ranger Volume Concerns
• Scramble Time
• Selection Show