How is this possible?

Almost 80 people viewed the blog yesterday?  I'm going to go out on a limb and assume we all looked at it eight times.  Actually, I know at least ten are me. Not that I'm (that) in love with my own work and/or a narcissist.

 I simply need that many reads to catch 90% 65% of my typos and to fine tune hastily thrown together Photoshops. 

Also, somehow the poll went from two votes to zero over night.  Maybe two of you changed your minds over night, or the website ate your votes.  Keep voting I guess?  I'll try and monitor to see if it's a continuing issue or not.

Either way, thanks for reading, people who may not be people I know...but are probably people I know.  You are (or most likely aren't) the best. 

Hot Stove Action

We've managed to get three good years out of this event with the same ten guys and the same two teams.  Unfortunately for one team, it has resulted in the same outcome each year.  Every year there are talks of mixing things up, adding players, etc.  Lets take a second and explore some of the more popular options as well as the pro/cons of each:

OPTION ONE- Keep Teams the Same

Pros: The last two years the competition has come down to the last event.  There has yet to be an all out blow out, so the talent is fairly even already.  A healthy rivalary is already established.

Cons: The same team has lost every year. 

OPTION TWO- Blow up teams, complete redraft

Pros: I got to use this picture

Cons: Eliminates already established rivalries. Risk of even more unbalanced teams.

OPTION THREE- Expansion

 Pros: May even out athletic events in that it will add a pair of fresh legs for substitution purposes, or add a more athletic person on a team that needs it.  Norm.

Cons: Difficult to find two people that fit the criteria of knowing everyone and understanding the good nature of the day.  Risk flipping good chemistry of day by adding too competitive of individual.  (ex. Past Turkey Bowl participants that have treated event like a draft combine)

OPTION FOUR- Trade Scenario #1

 Chad/ Anthony swap: Team Green would get an upgrade at basketball. Team Maroon would get an established goalie, which would allow Lewis out of net. 

 OPTION FIVE- Trade Scenario # 2

 Mike E./ Nate swap: Team Green would get an athletic upgrade all around.  Team Maroon would get a rusty, out of shape goalie which would allow Lewis out of net.  Could cause a Hatfield/McCoy situation between Erno cousins.

A poll will be up for a week or so to get your input.  Rosters need finalized so BROIV planning can continue in a timely fashion.  More polls to come. 

Update O'Clock- Part IV

Dickheads, this tomfoolery has gone on long enough. Let's finish this:

Event 8: FLIP CUP

The aftermath of the Lord of the Rings-like journey to the golf course was ugly.  People were semi-comatose ready drop over in Brolympic HQ.  There were blasphemous whispers of cutting corners/ skipping events/ female circumcisions.  Then out of no where, a pep talk/ questioning of manhood/ murderous threat from Chris woke everyone the eff up.  Needless to say, it was very effective.

Everyone rallied big time.  What started as a best of three, turned into a best of five, which then turned into the standard best of seven rounds of flip cup.  It was glorious.  Unfortunately there is more footage of the Kennedy assassination than there is of this event.  Team Green wins perhaps their best event (historically) as they attempt to provide the kagels to this days events and make the score tighter. 

                                         Team Maroon: 5               Team Green: 3

Event 9: SUPER BEER PONG

Flip Cup put a hurting on a couple contestants.  If one is to believe folklore and/or wikipedia maybe half the participants were able to drink their fair share during beer pong.  While everyone else acted like they were knocked up and drank for two.  I know I was getting thirsty again by this time of the evening and welcomed the additional pilsner.  While others delicate palates prevented them from drinking the prepared pong cups and resorted to drinking out of their thermos of Busch Light to keep things fair.

Point proven.

Some emergency pizzas were ordered, but it was too late.  The night devolved into the Vancouver Riots.  The fire ring was moved from down in the yard up to the driveway...lit, like an Olympic Brolympic Torch.  Objects and booze where being sacrificed to the fire.  I think I saw a goats head at some point. (unconfirmed)  I just assumed Rossello was shooting a video for Disturbed.  Somewhere along the way Team Green kept their streak alive and made event ten a pivotal match up.

                                         Team Maroon: 5               Team Green: 4

Event Ten: NES SPORTS CHALLENGE

If things were getting fuzzy four events ago, than the likelihood of anything factual coming from this part of the recap is highly unlikely.  All but the fact that we had a participant go MIA.

Half way through the event we noticed Chris was missing.  He was up soon, so I went outside looking for him.  He was nowhere to be found.  Climbing inside the mind of an animal, I tried to figure out where I would go if I was him.  This lead my hunt to the woods behind Brolympic HQ, where I received some good news and some not so great news.  The good news was that I got to third base with a knotty red maple, the bad news being Chris was nowhere to be found.  Simultaneously satisfied and dejected, I returned inside to find that it was my turn.  

During my turn, Chris was stumbled upon like a dead hooker on Law & Order: SVU.  Many tried to revive him.  The fans where chanting his name, but he eventually was counted out as if Rowdy Roddy Piper had just had his way with him.  Two years in a row, and the Erno cousins are answers to surprising prop bets. (So what?  We leave it all on the field...sometimes literally)

Back to the event at hand.  Since Chris could not compete, a call to the bullpen was made and Rossello had to compete again...and for the symmetry of it all, he faced off against Motz in a similar situation to last year...only this time it was in PRO WRESTLING.  I wish I had video...or a thread of memory of how close the match really was.  All I know is Motz put Rose on his back 1-2-3, and that was it. 

                                         Team Maroon: 6               Team Green: 4

Back to back to back, THREE-PEAT CHAMPIONS- TEAM MAROON!  

As always, it was a blast.  Thanks again for another great year.  Stay tuned for feedback needed for BROIV.  I've had somethings in the hopper since the day after BROIII.  Needless to say, BROIV should be better than ever. 

Update O'Clock- Part III

Event 5.5: VAN RIDE HOME
By this time of the day I'm not saying it was an emergency to get food in our stomachs, but Sally Struthers was this close to filming a commercial for us set to a sad Sarah McLachlan song.  Thankfully our trusty van driver steered us to the double whammy of Sheetz and Five Guys.  The van split like one of Motz's teeth as we stumbled towards each location.

Not sure what the bigger upset would have been...running into Gisele Bundchen at Five Guys, or Ty NOT getting yelled at for drinking beer in line.  Side note: Is it any surprise Gisele frequents Five Guys?  She clearly loves big meaty sandwiches and clearly she married some dude that would rather prance through wildflower fields wearing his sissy ugg boots, than fire up the grill and satisfy his super model wife's meaty cravings.  Are you reading between the lines?

Fine, I'll spell it out for you.  Gisele would have date raped me if she ran into me there.  (sorry Amy, I swear I was just grabbing for the fries). 

(also can you blame her?)

Event Six: FOOTBALL TOSS
This new event was probably more fun to make than the actual event was to execute.  Maybe we can incorporate some sort of woodworking event into BROIV.

I'm not entirely sure what happened at this event.  I know the board took a beating and not many people scored.  It's probably because most people were aiming for six holes as opposed to one. (Not unlike the oddly specific "Co-ed college swingers orgy party" porn.)  I'm lead to believe that Lewis was mostly successful as far as making a throw or two.  Team Green is in big trouble, as Team Maroon puts another notch on their bedpost.

Team Maroon: 5                 Team Green: 1

Event Seven: CORNHOLE

In a stunning turn of events, Cornhole was over in the blink of an eye.  The match ups were unclear, the scores are unrecorded.  All that anyone remembers is that it was a bloodbath.  Mike E. and Chad were essentially the Cornhole version of NBA Jams, because we were on FIRE.  You may say we pulled a Lewis from Brolympics II, only we started and finished the game in about 4 throws.  MVP's and event score pictures stopped being recorded a couple events ago, so we took matters into our own hands:

Team Maroon: 5           Team Green: 2

Event 7.5: GOLF COURSE

The evening took an unexpected pit stop when we spilled onto the golf course.  I believe we all took a few swings. I know the ball I hit took a hard right off my club and disappeared into some golf vortex never to be seen again.  I suppose there's a chance it landed in a hole, but even for an exaggerated blog post, that seems unlikely.  Luckily I wasn't alone in my ineptitude.  This many bad cuts haven't been witnessed since sequestration forced the school for the blind and barber school to combined enrollment. 

Coming next!! This extendo recap finally comes to a stirring conclusion.  With the help of a huge morale rally, (and perhaps the drinking events) Team Green makes a run at making this close...and hey, where'd Chris go?