Brolympic VII Recap: Part Two

FRIDAY EVENING:

After another pleasant round at Iron Valley our crew headed to the clubhouse for some refreshments and dinner.  Always looking to provide nourishment, Chris bought a round for the guys...a round of cheesecake. Instead of purchasing by the slice, he bought the entire pie at the discounted price of sixtyfive(ish) dollars. Midway through dinner, we suffered our first casualty. One can only assume he had experienced a touch of jet lag from his GA to PA flight.

After a standing ten count from guest referee Mills Lane, Rose was escorted back to Bro HQ for some rest and recuperation.  Unfortunately he was still having trouble acclimating back to PA time, and missed the start of the new and improved Selection Show held in the new and improved outdoor amphitheater of Bro HQ.

Some highlights:

Uh oh...Rose is up for a Virtual Wild Card Wheel Game...lets check in on him...

I think the altitude is higher in PA...you gotta be careful. 

Three quarters of the way through the selection show we received a message from inside Brolympic HQ.  Our sleeping Georgian received a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct (all over the carpet). Time out for damage control.  After a brief break, and some black magic by Nate to restore the proper carpet nap, we resumed the show...

HEY Look who's back?!  Refreshed from his siesta, Rose made it to the podium to accept his swag.

With the conclusion of the selection show, all event orders and matchups were set.  Shortly afterwards, the fellas scattered to their assigned nooks and crannies inside Bro HQ for the evening.

OPENING CEREMONIES 

The morning came far too soon for some of our athletes.  Even after a hearty breakfast, some were finding it hard to get moving.  Chris found some early morning inspiration to be fired up, as he found some discarded cheesecake on the side of Bro HQ. "That's at least $8!" Luckily Rose was ready to rip with his annual starting of the games.

                

 

And with that ceremonial funnel, the Seventh Annual Brolympic Games had officially begun!

PROP BETS:

• Selection Show Start Time: Over/Under 8:30 p.m.- UNDER
• Rose sings "Bodies": FALSE
• Pipes Smoked O/U 1.5: OVER
• Opening Ceremony Funnel Time: Over/Under 3.5 Seconds: OVER
• First to Deuce: Lewis

UP NEXT:

• A little post breakfast pong
• Maybe the last hockey game ever
• A Darkhorse MVP for HR Derby

Brolympic VII Recap: Part One

When last we left our intrepid heroes, Team Fugate was enjoying a 6-0 Brolympic advantage.  Although there was some discussion over the validity of the 6th Championship after a scoring discrepancy was discovered during the Bro 6 Recaps.  Hard to believe an all day drinking event may play fast and loose with the numbers (etc.).  While working on the Bro 6 recaps, this reviewer experienced some NAM-like gustatory flashbacks with potential horrifying ramifications.

Brolympic HQ was undergoing a historic renovation, with an addition of a swimming pool and decking, in the weeks leading up to BROVII.  

Weather had pushed deadlines back, and concrete was being poured Wednesday (the day before broathletes begin to arrive).  Online bloggers and the occasional wife expressed concern over the large, empty concrete pit that we would be competing next to over the span of BROVII.  Speaking of weather, Hurricane Matthew was working his way up the East Coast, with a potential damper to our weekend festivities.  As plans for a best of 37 NES Challenge (coincidentally Lewis's #1 reoccurring wet dream) were being drafted, Nate called off the guards with a reassuring report from Brett Thackara.  

Thursday Night, Mike E's traveling Brolympic museum and exotic spice emporium* arrived at Bro HQ. He was met by Lewis and the Commish.  Shortly after, Santa Deluca dropped in with some unexpected surprises, that can only be described as "Tijuana in a Box", minus the clap.  

These thoughtful gifts will surely make an appearance at a later time. Unrelated, there is supposedly a karaoke fiend terrorizing Georgia that goes by Midnight Monsoon. 

* scrotal talcum powder 

FRIDAY- A.M.

Weave arrived Friday a.m. to play an early morning round w/ Ty, Steve and Anthony.  In typical fashion, the fellas eased into the day.

While the a.m. hackers did their thing, Mike E. was a Bed Bath and Beyond trip short of a nice Frank the Tank type morning.  After a brief trip to the home improvement store to pick up 600 lbs of sand, he was back at HQ trying to fashion some temporary horseshoe pits.  Moving all that sand 3-4 times was an ingenious strategic move by Team Fugate to try and tire Mike E. out.  Fortunately he was able to dip into the Commish's Dirtwolf for a little rehydration.

Team Erno was bolstered as Chris arrived to help complete the project.  He of course brought some help of his own.

FRIDAY- AFTERNOON

Rose joined Mike E., Chris and Weave on Team Erno to face off against the Team Fugate trio of Ty, Steve and Anthony for the afternoon scramble.  New this year were the first ever Brolympic Golf Shirts, which debuted another new logo.  Prop bets began to fly off the board, and once again we were treated to tremendous visuals that were "almost" as worthy as the play on the course.

Not pictured...Rose's Charlie Hustle impression into a sand trap. 

PROP BETS:

• Longest Drive, Hole 1- Ty
• First in Sand Trap- Steve
• First to Lose Ball- Anthony
• First to Make Par- Steve
• Tequila Side Bets, Over/Under: 4.5- Over

UP NEXT:

• Dining w/ Rose
• New and Improved Selection Show
• Opening Ceremonies 

New Event?

We interrupt your winter hibernation for this important video:

Or maybe tasers as swag?

Prop Results

It's that time of the year, to bask in the glory of Microsoft Excel.  Presented without comment*.  Find your own motivation:

*there will be some comments

Sooo...everyone...except Chris...riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Come one Rose, relax that throat!  I have a side bet on this. 

Already humming it to myself.

The hook will be going on for Mike E. as well...unfortunately it will be during 3 pt. Shoot Out.

If conscious, pipes will be involved

Bulletin Board Material Juan

Starting Line Ups- Part II

Welcome back to BSPN's continuing coverage of the Seventh Brolympic Games.  We left off reviewing the champs and their fantasy implications.  Let's take a deep dive and see how the challengers are looking coming into this year's games:

That wraps up our Brolympic VII team break downs and starting line ups.  Enjoy the games!

Starting Line Ups- Part I

Welcome to the Brolympic Sports Programming Network's Brolympic VII Preview Special! After five consecutive years of clear cut winners, BRO VI ended in some ambiguity.  In a recap special unearthed by Pedro Gomez on some site called, Brolympic Platinum, we have recently learned that IBC Officials botched a pivotal score last year. Pedro with the follow up:

"Thanks Fellas, I'm here in Cornwall Borough, where we're less than one week away from Brolympic VII.  I have to be honest, I sort of stumbled upon this news.  I was searching for Tebow Fan Fiction when I found pages and pages of homoerotic beer funneling.  Let's just say I was engrossed.  The ripple effects of the recent discovery of poor record keeping has yet to fully be explored.  I'd have to imagine it may help properly motivate Team Blue from last years games.  Although a combined Oh-fer in Brolympic History should also be a motivating factor."

 Thanks Pedro, you huge weirdo.  Let's take a look at this years starting line ups and their fantasy implications.  Beginning with the Champs:
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We'll be back after this brief commercial break with the run down of the challengers.