Looks like a pretty solid greatest hits arrangement.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Ten Day Weather Outlook
Welcome to our first look at the extended forecast! Chance of some showers for early morning golfers on Friday. It looks promising for the scramble Friday afternoon and Saturday's events. Keep your fingers, legs and wangs crossed.
Speaking of looking promising, let's just say you won't be able to tell if I'm cold or just excited for the events when I'm poking through my shirt first thing in the morning. #eyecandy
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Brolympic VI Recap- Part 3
Event Two- Home Run Derby
Half way into setting up Home Run Derby and moving the Horse Shoe gear down to the baseball field, our luck of zero facility conflicts finally ran out. A fall ball team showed up to start warming up for their game. An audible was called and we had what may have been the best move in years and conducted the derby inside the hockey rink. It was a glorious setting, as the "outfield fence" had different heights. It was like a legit ball park.
First up for Team Red was Nate. He started off the event with a hat-trick and put Team Red up 3-0. Rose followed for Team Blue, but in a unorthodox move, was thrown a healthy dose of high heat and off speed junk that prevented him from going yard. Anthony was Team Red's next batter, and he tacked on a run to Nate's three spot and put Team Red up 4-0. Historic event favorite Mike E. was up next for Team Blue. Trying to make up for his BROV goose egg, and get his team on the board, the unimaginable happened and he failed to go deep once again. Mike E. was now a combined 0 for his last 22, ready to be admitted for observation. Team Blue needs some help.
Mike M. knocked 3 more out for Team Red, who was now up 7-0. Dave W. was playing some inspired keep-away throughout the event. Climbing the fence and swatting would-be-home-runs like a monster in rampage swatting a helicopter.
Chad finally got Team Blue on the board with a three spot of his own Team Red still up 7-3. Steve added another one for the Big Red Machine. 8-3. Two batters left for Team Blue to make some noise. Turns out, they would only need one. Dave W. followed up his amazing defensive performance and crushed 8 unbelievable bombs to put Team Blue up 11-8. Team Red's final batter was Ty. Needing three to keep the event alive, he came through to tie the event at 11-11. Because of the hole in their line up, Team Blue was able to choose which event they wanted someone to be able to go twice. Needing something that has eluding him for the last 22 at bats, Mike E. saddled up to the plate and finally found his grove and had a Joey Bats walk off moment. Even though it was a moot point, he finished off the round with six more bombs to make the final 18-11.
Team Blue finds themselves in an unfamiliar situation up 2-0, but heading into an event without their favorite dipping specialist. Playing in the grass behind the hockey rink was not an ideal setting, although Dave W. and Ty used some precise measurements while setting up. Due to the conditions and our time constraint, we played first to 11.
The first match up pitted Mike M. and Anthony vs. Chad and Dave R. Team Blue came out on top winning the match 11-5.
The second match up taking place simultaneously had Steve and Ty vs. Dave. W and Mike E. Team Red evened the event up by flip flopping the results of the first match with an 11-5 win of their own.
The rubber match featured Nate and Ty for Team Red vs. the Dave's from Team Blue. The power of the Dave's were not enough to overcome Nate and Ty, who got Team Red on the board for the day with an 11-6 win.
Half way into setting up Home Run Derby and moving the Horse Shoe gear down to the baseball field, our luck of zero facility conflicts finally ran out. A fall ball team showed up to start warming up for their game. An audible was called and we had what may have been the best move in years and conducted the derby inside the hockey rink. It was a glorious setting, as the "outfield fence" had different heights. It was like a legit ball park.
First up for Team Red was Nate. He started off the event with a hat-trick and put Team Red up 3-0. Rose followed for Team Blue, but in a unorthodox move, was thrown a healthy dose of high heat and off speed junk that prevented him from going yard. Anthony was Team Red's next batter, and he tacked on a run to Nate's three spot and put Team Red up 4-0. Historic event favorite Mike E. was up next for Team Blue. Trying to make up for his BROV goose egg, and get his team on the board, the unimaginable happened and he failed to go deep once again. Mike E. was now a combined 0 for his last 22, ready to be admitted for observation. Team Blue needs some help.
Mike M. knocked 3 more out for Team Red, who was now up 7-0. Dave W. was playing some inspired keep-away throughout the event. Climbing the fence and swatting would-be-home-runs like a monster in rampage swatting a helicopter.
Chad finally got Team Blue on the board with a three spot of his own Team Red still up 7-3. Steve added another one for the Big Red Machine. 8-3. Two batters left for Team Blue to make some noise. Turns out, they would only need one. Dave W. followed up his amazing defensive performance and crushed 8 unbelievable bombs to put Team Blue up 11-8. Team Red's final batter was Ty. Needing three to keep the event alive, he came through to tie the event at 11-11. Because of the hole in their line up, Team Blue was able to choose which event they wanted someone to be able to go twice. Needing something that has eluding him for the last 22 at bats, Mike E. saddled up to the plate and finally found his grove and had a Joey Bats walk off moment. Even though it was a moot point, he finished off the round with six more bombs to make the final 18-11.
Nate trying to bring one back.
TEAM RED 0 - TEAM BLUE 2
Prop Bets:
- Player w/ Most Home Runs. Over/Under 4 1/2: Over
- Furthest Home Run: Mike E.
- MVP: Dave W.
Team Blue finds themselves in an unfamiliar situation up 2-0, but heading into an event without their favorite dipping specialist. Playing in the grass behind the hockey rink was not an ideal setting, although Dave W. and Ty used some precise measurements while setting up. Due to the conditions and our time constraint, we played first to 11.
The first match up pitted Mike M. and Anthony vs. Chad and Dave R. Team Blue came out on top winning the match 11-5.
The second match up taking place simultaneously had Steve and Ty vs. Dave. W and Mike E. Team Red evened the event up by flip flopping the results of the first match with an 11-5 win of their own.
The rubber match featured Nate and Ty for Team Red vs. the Dave's from Team Blue. The power of the Dave's were not enough to overcome Nate and Ty, who got Team Red on the board for the day with an 11-6 win.
Team Red 1 - Team Blue 2
Prop Bets:
- First Ringer: Dave R.
- Most Ringers. Over/Under 2 1/2: Under
- MVP: Ty
Lunch Break
The time stamp on this picture is 12:58 p.m.
Due to shoes taking so long, 3 pt. shootout would have to wait until after bowling. Lunch was housed, because as we're reminded below, the wings at Cedar Lane's are not for human consumption:
VAN RIDE
Selfies for Chris.
EVENT 4- Bowling
After 1 p.m. and we're just starting the 4th event. Certainly won't spell trouble for the remainder of the day. At the time we didn't know this would be our last trip to Cedar Lane's, known for their previously mentioned uneatable wings and plentiful pitchers of beer. As Nate stated upon hearing the unfortunate news of their closing, "Well, I think we were 75% of their annual beer sales." (take the over)
For going out of business I don't believe we've ever seen it busier. Although the placement of our two lanes by another children's birthday party couldn't have helped inspire repeat visitations. That being said, we had plenty of horrified mothers watching the following events occur:
Waste not, want not.
We did inherit leftover birthday party pizza, but it was cold and a little dry.
In round one of bowling, Steve and Dave W. both started hot with marks in 3 of their first 4 frames. (two strikes for Dave, one fore Steve). Team Blue had Rose 1 and Rose 2 going for them, complete with costume change between turns. Rose 1 was clearly the better bowler early on with spare, spare, strike in 3-5 frames. Rose 2 didn't mark until it counted, with four rounds of consecutive spares. (Rounds 7-10) Chad had a great run in rounds 6-8 going strike, strike, spare. Mike E. made up 40 pts in the final two rounds, increasing his score by more than 50% (from 71 to 111), by hitting Strike, Spare/Strike in the 9th and 10th frame.
Besides Steve's hot start, Team Red had an uncharacteristically rough game. Ty started to catch fire by the end, marking in 3 out of his last 5 frames with two spares and a strike. Anthony also ended strong with a strike, spare, spare in rounds 7-9, including this heater in the 9th frame:
Team Blue takes the first round 626 - 552.
In Round 2, Team Blue picked up where it left off with a strong performance from Rose 1 and Rose 2 with 16 combined marks. Rose 2 was especially hot, starting the game with spare, strike, spare, spare, spare. And then, like Jesus, he took the 6th frame off. He then continued spare, spare, strike and then decided to take it easy in the 10th because Rose 1 had already spare/striked the tenth.
Team Red performed much better as Ty had 5 marks, including three strikes peppered through out the first 6 frames. Breakout star, Anthony had a monster game for someone who throws the equivalent of a knuckle slurve. He had 4 strikes, including strike, strike, spare for the final 3 frames. Steve struggled early, missing some spares and splits he would have liked to have picked up. Looking for motivation, he begged Mike E. to slap him if he missed the spare in one of the middle frames. Mike E. being a humanitarian not seen since Mother Teresa and Princess Di tried to dissuade him from such a violent, and lets face it...likely conclusion, but Steve persisted. LUCKILY we have video evidence to see the hesitation in Mike E., showing no eagerness to let a right fly across Steve's face.
The adjustment to his world view and potential concussion propelled Steve to finish with spare, strike, spare in 7-9 frames. Unfortunately it was not enough for Team Red to overcome Team Blue taking the round 644-628 and the event.
At this point in the day, there's a slight chance that there was a minor disagreement between those wanting to stick around and bowl a third game for fun and those that wanted to leave immediately. There were strong arguments for both sides and this reviewer's resting pissed off face may have made an appearance. Fortunately, because of the tense situation, we were blessed with this top ten Brolympic Memory:
In other news, Nate and Ty got an earful from our favorite van driver about her pet pigs and goats. Ty then tried to purchase the van from her. Chris sent some encouragement from Chicago, and a conversation about obtaining a CDL was had. I'm pretty sure that entire 2+ hours is how Cedar Lanes would have liked to have remembered us.
TEAM RED 1 - TEAM BLUE 3
Prop Bets:
- First Strike: Lewis
- Highest Player Bowling Score in One Game: Rose 1
- Highest Player Bowling Score in One Game. Over/Under 185 1/2: Under
- Highest Team Bowling Score in One Game. Over/Under 715 1/2: Under
- First Gutter Ball: Mike E.
- Fastest Ball. Over/Under 21 1/2 mph: Under
- Slowest Ball. Over/Under 12 1/2 mph: Under
- Pitchers of Beer. Over/Under 12 1/2: Under (8)
UP NEXT:
- Three Point Shoot Out
- Football Toss
- A Long Period of Darkness
- Confusion
- The End of the Day???
Brolympic 6 Recap- Part 2
Post Scramble Dinner:
After about 10 hours on the course, a proper meal was necessary to adequately "prep" for the following day's events. Unfortunately the simple burger I ordered took longer than the Godfather epic.
I imagine after I ordered my meal, the staff went into some secret back room, put on some Mark Morrison, and excitingly watched a steer and cow get busy between the sheets. After a brief 283 day gestation period, my meal was born and casually put into a hyper incubator where it was then processed and turned into ground beef...only, after they finished sorting their favorite bazooka joe gum wrappers by plot believability. I'm being conservative in my estimating, but that's how long it felt.
Fortunately there was a guy playing a guitar to the greatest hits of our high school years, and didn't mind obnoxious requests from the bar. Can't imagine the bar gets that many sing-a-longs either. Shit we sounded good.
Selection Show;
Fireworks were set off. Swag was given out. Event orders were chosen. Games were played. Loopy was imbibed.
EVENT 1- Mega Beer Pong
First year opening event, Mega Beer Pong was not happy just getting us started with the day's games. It had to up the ante by having a cup of fireball instead of beer mixed in the layout of cups for each side. #weregeniuses
After about 10 hours on the course, a proper meal was necessary to adequately "prep" for the following day's events. Unfortunately the simple burger I ordered took longer than the Godfather epic.
I imagine after I ordered my meal, the staff went into some secret back room, put on some Mark Morrison, and excitingly watched a steer and cow get busy between the sheets. After a brief 283 day gestation period, my meal was born and casually put into a hyper incubator where it was then processed and turned into ground beef...only, after they finished sorting their favorite bazooka joe gum wrappers by plot believability. I'm being conservative in my estimating, but that's how long it felt.
Fortunately there was a guy playing a guitar to the greatest hits of our high school years, and didn't mind obnoxious requests from the bar. Can't imagine the bar gets that many sing-a-longs either. Shit we sounded good.
Selection Show;
Fireworks were set off. Swag was given out. Event orders were chosen. Games were played. Loopy was imbibed.
NEW SEGMENT- Words of Encouragement From our Broathlete Stuck at a Training in Chicago:
"You guys missed an intense conversation with an Asian Hawaiian at the bar in wheeling, IL (he's in my class). But, I did polish of 3 buckets of miller Light (minus 1 beer for the Asian Hawaiian) (5 beers per bucket = 15 beers minus 1 in 4.5 hours/brolympics ready) because, they don't stock Busch light NOR little beer shots (brolympic prop bet next year) - liqueur 43/ heavy whipping cream= delicious.
Text my ass tomorrow w/ updates. Heading "down town" Chicago at a HICK honky tonk bar after Saturday morning presentations. If my team loses tomorrow, I will skull f*ck all y'all.
Btw, incase u drunk bastards don't know, a lot of Hawaiians are Asians."
Opening Ceremonies:
First time ever not having the opening ceremonies by a hockey rink, nonetheless, I challenge anyone to say they still didn't get chills.
EVENT 1- Mega Beer Pong
First year opening event, Mega Beer Pong was not happy just getting us started with the day's games. It had to up the ante by having a cup of fireball instead of beer mixed in the layout of cups for each side. #weregeniuses
The battle went back and forth as one would imagine. The commish was having a rough morning, and if I remember correctly voluntarily drank some loopy to try and flush his system. Unfortunately for Team Red, they never got those last four cups off the table and Team Blue jumps out to an early 1-0 lead.
Team Blue clearly oblivious to the fact that there are still 10 more scheduled events for the day.
Stats (better use them now as they become non-existant later in the day):
-Sunk Shots-
Team Red Team Blue
Anthony- 2 Mike E.- 4
Ty- 0 Chad- 8 (including Fireball)
Steve- 5 (including FB) Dave R.- 3
Mike M.- 5 Dave W.- 6
Nate- 5
TEAM RED 0 - TEAM BLUE 1
Prop Bets:
- MVP/Most Sunk Shots- Chad
UP NEXT:
- HR Derby Heroics
- A Sloppy Horseshoe Battle
- A Memorable Goodbye to Cedar Lanes
Prop Bet Extravaganza
Back by popular demand, 69 glorious prop bets to make your weekend even more debaucherous.
To help answer your scramble questions, current scramble participants are: Ty, Mike E., Chris, Dave R., Steve, Dave W., and Anthony.
Please return your answers by Sunday, 10/2/16. If you don't have a ton of time, it will only take 5 minutes to blow through the questions and jot an answer down. I assure you, the more research you do, the poorer your odds of winning are. Five american dollars to play, winner takes all.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Brolympic 6 Recap- PART I
Welcome back to the greatest tradition in sports blogging (well, this sports blog), recapping the previous years event 11 months after the fact! Speaking of facts, zero percent of them will be checked in the writing of this article. Truthfully, I strongly contemplated a mad-libs style recap so that you all could fill in some of the blanks.
THURSDAY NIGHT
Preoccupied with a Mets/Dodgers elimination game and still recovering from working on the island of misfit toys for the 2015 swag, I rolled into Brolympic Headquarters Thursday evening. Upon arrival, I found a shell of a man waiting in the basement. BROV's MVP not only looked like he needed a three week vacation, he definitely could have benefited from at least 23 hugs (reach arounds optional). I would have offered to give him at least one (hug...not reach around), but was unable to stand up because of the yard stick's length of wood I sprouted after the Mets 3-2 victory to advance to the NLCS. Like a freshman cramming for a final, I spent the rest of the evening getting ready for the selection show and prop bet graphs*.
*testing IPAs
FRIDAY MORNING
Nate, Ty, Steve, Anthony, Mike E. and the always punctual Dave W. headed out for the early round of golf. Also making an appearance:
THURSDAY NIGHT
Preoccupied with a Mets/Dodgers elimination game and still recovering from working on the island of misfit toys for the 2015 swag, I rolled into Brolympic Headquarters Thursday evening. Upon arrival, I found a shell of a man waiting in the basement. BROV's MVP not only looked like he needed a three week vacation, he definitely could have benefited from at least 23 hugs (reach arounds optional). I would have offered to give him at least one (hug...not reach around), but was unable to stand up because of the yard stick's length of wood I sprouted after the Mets 3-2 victory to advance to the NLCS. Like a freshman cramming for a final, I spent the rest of the evening getting ready for the selection show and prop bet graphs*.
*testing IPAs
FRIDAY MORNING
Nate, Ty, Steve, Anthony, Mike E. and the always punctual Dave W. headed out for the early round of golf. Also making an appearance:
HORNITOS!!!
(it's 10 a.m. somewhere)
Not much to report on the golfing, other than the scenic pics and typical tomfoolery of the day:
At some point a prop bet was answered:
Hole 17!
No Italians were harmed during the filming of this segment.
GOLF PROP BETS- Longest Drive Hole 1- Nate
- First Sand Trap- Mike E.
- First to Lose Ball- Ty
- Tequila Side Bets Over/Under 4.5- Over
- What Hole Will Rose Arrive- 17 (Which he guessed for himself- convenient)
- Selection Show
- Swag Presentation
- Saturday Morning Events
- More poorly constructed sentences and 3rd grade approved jokes
Friday, September 9, 2016
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