Hooray, It's the News You've All Been Waiting For...

No, not the event break down!  No, not the prop bet extravaganza!  No, not hilarious Rose photoshops! Coming to you live from the Brolympic Barometric Reading Rainbow...

IT'S TIME FOR THE TEN DAY WEATHER OUTLOOK!!!

(you know, in case you don't own a smart phone, or have access to a television, the internet or a newspaper)

SO FAR, SO GOOD! We're going to be cautiously optimistic that this holds true. Would be a nice change of pace to only have to worry about the moisture coming from my excessive perspiration and not the skies. 

BV Recap: Part VI

Heading back to Brolypmic HQ, Team Fugate found themselves up 5-2, heading into Event 6.  Being an even year, Mike E. survived the bus ride back without turning green.

EVENT SIX: Three Point Shoot-Out

Nate taking advantage of some down time in between shots. 

Ty opened the first round with home court advantage...would it pay off?! Well, technically depends on your definition of "pay off".  Ty knocks home 4 points and puts TF up 4-0.  Chris followed up for TE and put up 5 to give them the 5-4 lead.

Nate followed for TF, and scored 9 pts for the round.  Putting TF back in the lead 13-5. TE had their secret weapon up next and Chad did his best Reggie Miller impression and matched Nate's 9, keeping Team Erno with a one point lead:14-13.

Lewis, continuing his bonkers day, went and dropped a 10 spot on Team Erno.  Would Rose be able to match?  If by "able to match" you mean, dropping a fat deuce...then, yes.  Rose matched. Team Fugate 24 - 15.

Motz, the reason for the three point shoot-out, scored a respectable 7 points.  Mike E., pretty much having the opposite Brolympic trajectory of Lewis, dropped a fat deuce of his own, as this round was slipping away from TE.  Brolympics was begging to have a familiar feel to it.  31 - 17.

In case there was any doubt, Deluca Macho Man'd Team Erno and dropped an elbow from the top ropes, dropping 11 dimes in their face.  Weaver followed up with a six spot to finish as TE's second highest scorer this round.  Team Fugate wiped Team Erno off the pavement with a 41 - 23 shellacking to take round one.

Another highbrow moment from the weekend

Matching their round one performances, Ty sunk another 4 pts as Chris hit 5.  5-4 Team Erno.  Nate Followed with 7, and Chad sent home 5, as Team Fugate retook the lead, 11-10.

Lewis followed Nate's lead draining 7 points, and Rose stepped up and hit 8 from down town, tying this round at 18-18.

New three point vine?

Motz thought, "wow, a 7 spot sure seems like the way to go" and he too, scored 7 points for the Champs. Mike E., accidentally wore Larry Bird's bad back to the shoot out, and completely submarined any chances his team had at victory with a completely pathetic 1 point.  His team would have been better off if one of the piss mushrooms behind the basketball hoop were taking shots. Team Fugate up 25-19.

Prrrretty, prrrretty damp conditions.

Deluca once again iced the game for Team Fugate with a 9 point performance, as Weaver hit a very admiral 10 in garbage time.  Final score Team Fugate 34 - Team Erno 29.

Team Fugate 6 - Team Erno 2

*editorial note- I'm getting shell shock from reliving this again.  I'm going to have to invest in a sport psychologist, or at least get a fruit basket for my team.  Back to eating my feelings. 

 Prop Bets:
First Air Ball- Ty
MVP- researching
Number of Three-Pointers By One Shooter in One Round, Over/Under 8 1/2- researching
Most Three Pointers- researching

EVENT SEVEN- Football Toss 2.0
Football toss returned to Brolympics after a slight revamp, and a change from a plywood structure, to a tarp target area.  Please note, there is no documented footage of this event, or the set up.  The only thing remaining of this event is the pleasant memories it evokes and how perfectly behaved everyone was.

In the interest of time, lets get to the nitty gritty:
     
                        Round 1      Round 2
Motz                    4                 4
Chad                    7                 1
Nate                     5                 8
Weaver                 7               12 (zero controversy over this score)
Lewis                    8               14
Mike E.                 3                 3 (those piss mushrooms should probably have been on standby)
Anthony                5                10
Rose                     4                  4
Ty                         2                  8
Chris                     8                  6

Round 1- Team Fugate 24 - Team Erno 26
Round 2- Team Fugate  44 - Team Erno 26

I suppose we went overall score, because there doesn't appear to be a third round. Winner, winner, chicken dinner, Team Fugate.

Team Fugate 7 - Team Erno 2

Prop Bets

Most Points Scored: Lewis

MVP: Lewis

EVENT EIGHT- Cornhole

I feel like this may be out of order with football toss 2.0, but again, there's little documentation of this fan favorite. Either way I don't remember anyone breaking out the champagne, because at this point Team Fugate theoretically clinched their 5th straight championship.

I don't know the scores of any of these games, other than Ty and Lewis faced off against Chad and Weaver in one of the round one games, and supposedly came out on top.  Rose and Chris triumphed over Nate and Deluca, to force a round 3 tie-breaker with Motz and Deluca vs. Chad and Mike E.  For being an event tie-breaker, I don't remember many people paying attention.  There's was an unofficial conrhole game taking place next us that was garnering more attention.  The only reason this author has any recollection of this event is because he was absolutely on fire. The historically reliable cornhole duo (let's make t-shirts) of Mike E. and Chad disposed of Team Fugate to salvage a late day victory.

Sunk shot stats as follows (these are as reliable as the record keeping at this point of the day):

Deluca- 3                        Chris- 5

Ty- 3                              Mike E.- 9

Lewis- 5                         Chad- Nothing Recorded (seems unlikely)

Motz- Nothing Recorded  Rose- 6

Nate- 8                           Weaver- 3

Team Fugate 8 - Team Erno 3

Prop Bets:

Most Sunk Shots: Mike E.

MVP: Mike E. 

BROLYMPIC V CHAMPIONS- TEAM FUGATE

At this point, Brolympic 5 slowly disintegrated.  Team Erno favorites Flip Cup and Beer Pong were never played. Some how, we have no reaction shots from the champs, but plenty of reaction from the perpetual runner ups:

Despite efforts from the Erno cousins, particularly Mike E., to get to the other events, the official day was done.  Luckily there was still plenty of extra curricular activities remaining:

 Push up contests

 Moonshine Chugging

Becoming answers to prop bets

Misc. Prop Bets:

First Person Pass Out Over/Under 10:30 p.m. - Under

First Person to Pass Out- Rose

Number of Prop Bet Questions Answered Correctly Over/Under 31 1/2- Under

New Rose Tats Over/Under 1/2- Under

First to Puke- Weaver

# of Shirtless Players Over/Under 2 1/2- Over

Chris cans of Chew Over/Under 2 1/2- Over

Players partaking in Chris's Chew Over/Under 1/2- Over

Types of Alcohol Over/Under 4 1/2- Under

Most Event MVPs- Lewis

Not pictured, the transfer of the foosball table from the garage, carried in the dark through Ty's back yard, into the basement.  (still not the most dangerous thing carried in the dark through Ty's back yard, with the lit portable fire pit still claiming that top spot).  Other notables- Chris cooking some breakfast sausage up as a late evening treat.  Mike E. dunking said sausage in the moonshine/ using it as a garnish still trying to get passed out competitors to play drinking games, some ODB on repeat, Weaver making some Racoon bait in the back yard, more Super Tecmo Bowl fun, and probably a hundred other things lost to the ether.  The night ended as most nights do, with the eventual scattering of the masses to their corner of Brolympic Headquarters.  Another year in the books. 

One of the many scavenger hunt items left for Ty to find throughout the year.

Thanks for all the kind words as far as enjoying the recaps- looking forward to some new laughs and making more memories next weekend!

BV Recap: Part V

EVENT 4- Soccer Shootout

Heading into our inaugural soccer event, Team Erno was looking to even the day at three wins a piece.  However, the moment we arrived at the field Nate immediately laced up some bad ass soccer cleats, and tossed on some prrrrretty official looking goalie gloves.  Things were not looking up for Team Erno.  

The format that we agreed on, was everyone got to take five shots.  Each person from the opposing team faced one shot from each shooter.  Everyone then got a chance to play goalie against each other.
Via the selection show random order, Nate was up first...

and brought the cheddar, scoring 4 out 5 shots.  Team Erno answered with their Soccer Aficionado and his official soccer footwear (from the Red Wing work boot collection):

The half a soccer field running start was key.

Rinaldo found the back of the net for 1 out of his 5 shots.  After one round, Team Fugate up 4 -1.

Next up for Team Fugate was Mike M.

Mike added two to the Champs goal total.  Team Erno answered with Weaver.

Weav put team Erno back in the contest with a four spot.  After 2 rounds, Team Erno was trailing Team Fugate by one.  TF up 6-5.

The Notorious A.N.T. was up for TF, and systematically dismantled TE with a perfect round.  Not a surprise to this contestant, because when I think of graceful technique, skill and pure sound soccer mechanics, I think of Deluca. 

Up next for the challengers was Rose.  He went an admiral 3-5, but still not enough to keep TF from widening the gap.  Team Fugate 11 - Team Erno 8.

Lewis opened the next round, mimicking his hetero life-mate, also going 5-5.  

Lentz followed for TE, scoring a healthy four spot, but somehow still losing ground because of Team Fugate's combined 10-10 the last two rounds.  Team Fugate 16 - Team Erno 12.

Ty had a chance to put the event on ice for the team bearing his name, and he did just that, going 4-5.  For those keeping track at home, out of a possible 25 goals, Team Fugate scored 20 of them.  Having two perfect rounds, and two rounds of only missing one.  

Mike E. tried to end the event with a bang for pride, but ended up launching a few shots across the street, and ultimately found the back of the net only twice.  Final score, Team Fugate 20 - Team Erno 14. 

Team Fugate 4 - Team Erno 2 

Prop Bets:

MVP: Lewis (because of his diving saves, combined with his perfect round)

EVENT FIVE: Three-Point Shoot Out  Bowling

Running behind schedule, we pushed 3 pt. shoot-out to after bowling.  Grabbed some lunch before bowling for once, which besides hiring a driver, may be the smartest thing we've ever done. (Naturally it only took five years to get here)  

Our annual Van Ride to the bowling alley was everything it was billed to be.  Awkward conversations with our driver brought to you by Chris and Rose, and a chance to rehydrate after a gruelling morning slate of events.  

Team Erno desperately needing to win this event to climb back in it, Pulled out the 648 - 625 victory in round one with scoring as follows:

TEAM ERNO          TEAM FUGATE

Chris-     138            Motz-      98    

Weav-     141           Deluca-  105

Chad-        99           Lewis-   170

Mike E.- 117            Nate-     108

Rose-      157            Ty-        144

Things were going swimmingly for Team Erno in round 2, except someone kept putting himself in timeout for failing to pick up spares.

  They were well on their way to the improbable back-to-back years of winning bowling when the Hornitos started to kick in for Team Fugate.  Team Erno finished first, with an astounding 720 point round.  Team Fugate sacked up and all marked in the 9th frame.  Nate, who was particularly not performing up to Nate standards, found another gear, going from a 77 in the 8th, to finishing with a 126.  That's almost a 50 point swing in the last two frames from him alone. Lewis and Ty bowled their brains out, with Lewis tossing a 189, and Ty going 187 on our mother*#@! ass with a play that will live in Brolympic History. Faced with what looks like a 1 - 7 split, and needing to make the spare to keep the team mark streak alive, Ty tossed this gem:  

Team Fugate finished with a Brolympic team record 735* to push a third round.   (*unverified) 

Round 2 Results:

TEAM ERNO          TEAM FUGATE

Chris-     133            Motz-    113    

Weav-     157          Deluca-  120

Chad-     172           Lewis-    189

Mike E.- 105            Nate-     126

Rose-      153            Ty-        187

From there on, the momentum had shifted and shit got serious, as both teams bowled over 700 in the deciding third round.  Even though Ty came back to earth, Motz and Anthony picked up the slack and helped stick a fork in Team Erno.  Their dream of lifting the Manly Cup was slowly fading, as Team Fugate eked them out 718 - 709.  

Round 3 Results:

TEAM ERNO          TEAM FUGATE

Chris-     130            Motz-    169    

Weav-     168          Deluca-  147

Chad-     158           Lewis-    165

Mike E.- 102            Nate-     118

Rose-      151            Ty-        119

File this under things that make you go hmmmm...total combined score for the three rounds: Team Fugate 2,078 - Team Erno 2,077.  #daaaaaaaaaaaaamn

                                                           Team Fugate 5 - Team Erno 2 

Prop Bets:

First Strike- Lewis

Highest Score- Lewis (189)

Highest Score Over/Under 185 1/2- Over

High Team Score Over/Under 690 1/2- Over

First Gutter Ball- Deluca

Fastest Ball Over/Under 21 1/2 mph- Over

MVP- Lewis (three game total of 524)

UP NEXT-

• 3 pt shoot out
• football toss 2.0
• cornhole
• darkness

336 Hour Warning!!!

Thanks for your patience, event details, times, etc. still to come!

BV Recap: Part IV

SATURDAY A.M.
To the surprise of no one, everyone was moving at a sub standard pace Saturday morning.  Picture the zombies from the Walking Dead...only think of them walking at half speed.  That was the scene Saturday morning.*

*unless you were referring to the scene from the basement bathroom...then that resembled the first thirty minutes of Saving Private Ryan. (and/or see banner image above)

To say I was shitting liquid fire would be a gross understatement...as well as a horrifically gross statement.  Now I'm not ready to claim biological warfare was used via the opposition, but we did win the first two Friday events after a successful round of golf.  Hmmm...How it was hypothetically administered...we'll never know.

OPENING CEREMONIES

For half a decade, we've performed the same ritual...it never gets old. 

EVENT ONE- Hockey

Speaking of more of the same, Team Fugate administered another curb stomp at Hockey.  Team Erno hysterically thought they had a chance now that Lewis was not in goal.  However, Deluca shut the front door on them and kept Team Erno's 0-fer streak alive. Period breakdowns are sadly missing from this event, but the final score was Team Fugate 7, Team Erno 3.  With goal scoring as follows:

Team Fugate                    Team Erno
Ty- 1                                  Rose- 1
Lewis- 2                            Weaver- 2
Nate- 4

We don't need common core standards to let us know that it would have been a tie game if Nate wasn't there.  What. A. Dick. (Unbiased reporting alert)  After our first event on Saturday, Team Fugate reclaims the lead for the weekend:

Team Fugate 2   -   Team Erno 1

Prop Bets:
First Goal- Lewis
Combined Goals over/under 6 1/2- Over
MVP- Nate

EVENT TWO- Home Run Derby

The previous days events were still taking its toll on some competitors. (see above snapshot of park port-a-john, post use) To say I was dehydrated would be an insult to deserts.  My lumbar was also more locked up than Rose's secret porn collection.  This may appear like I'm laying the groundwork for Excuseville,population me, but....well...yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing.

The field was either looking a little long, or none of us ate our wheaties (or we're just getting old), because there weren't a ton of fireworks this year.  Chris opened up the event with two bombs giving Team Erno an early 2-0 lead.  Nate, suffering some blood loss from fighting off his hockey boner hit a solo shot to bring Team Fugate within one. 2-1 Team Erno.

Mike E. entering one of his best non-drinking events (besides post bowling yacking) was a shell of his former sell, failing to hit a single tater.  His therapist has tried to convince him that he needs to get over this, but the multiple cuts to his inner thigh and binge eating tell a different story.  Lewis was up next for Team Fugate and made Mike E. pay for his pathetic performance.  He was living lavida loco and crushed a four spot, putting Team Fugate ahead 5-2.

Weaver, historically one of Team Erno's best deep threats was only able to muster one, and closed the gap 5-3.  Like spanish fly, Mike M. immediately opened that gap back up and gave Team Fugate their three run lead back.  6-3 Team Fugate.

Rose launched an absolute missile to chip back to a two run deficit. 6-4 Team Fugate.  Anthony must have been taking notes from Mike E. and decided to play a game of pepper instead of long ball.  The score remains 6-4 Team Fugate going into our last two batters.

Chad was Team Erno's last chance of pulling off the victory and bringing the day's events to a tie, but he too was allergic to the four bagger, sealing the victory for Team Fugate.  For posterity and prostatery's sake, Ty finished up his at-bats knocking in one more for Team Fugate.  Final score, a pathetic 7 - 4.

Team Fugate 3  - Team Erno 1

Prop Bets:

Player with most amount of HRs over/under 8 1/2- Under

Furthest Home Run- Rose

MVP- Lewis

EVENT THREE- Horse Shoes

Horseshoes, maybe Chris's best event and the best chance for Team Erno to get back into it, was tortured by the luck of the selection show bingo wheel, and not slated to play unless we needed a tiebreaker third match.

The infield was a soupy mess and we decided to move the shoes to a grassy area beside the field.  The lack of sand/ dirt pit made this an excruciatingly long event.  It was a sloppy affair. 

Some had to overcome muddy hands to stay hydrated

Some had the appropriate use of phils sweatshirts- mud rag

Jersey Tuck 4-Life

 One of the first match-ups pitted Ty and Nate vs. Weaver and Rose.  After a period of line drive horseshoe throws and chasing the shoes through the woods, Weaver and Rose sealed the 15 -10 victory over Ty and Nate.

In our other matchup, Mike E. and Chad tried to give Team Erno the easy victory, but Lewis and Motz had other plans.  This game went back and forth, with numerous lead changes and then incredible droughts of no one scoring.  Getting my appendix removed was less painful than watching this game.  Team Erno was a point away from putting this event to bed, when Team Fugate had a big round to go up by one.  Needing to win by two, both teams monkeyed around scoring a point here and there, but never sustaining a monster round.  Team Fugate mercifully pulled the plug on this match, winning 19 -17, forcing a pivotal third match.

Chris, who was essentially swimming in busch light the entire time the other games were taking place, finally had a chance to do his thing.  Him and Weaver went up against Anthony and Motz.  Properly lubricated, Chris and Weaver made short work of the competition, and brought home the victory for Team Erno. 

Team Fugate 3 - Team Erno 2

Prop Bets:

First Ringer- Mike E.

Player w/ most ringers in one game, over/under 2 1/2- Over

Chris vs. Field most ringers- Field

MVP- Chris

UP NEXT

• Soccer Shootout
• Bear balls at the bowling Alley
• The day starts to slip away

BV Recap: Part III

With the Selection Show over, we now shift gears to FRIDAY NIGHT EVENTS...THAT COUNT!! (sort of)

DARTS-- Cricket (1/2 point to winner)
Originally planned as a match up between pairs in a best out of three showdown, this event shifted to a best out of three whole team vs. whole team match up.

Team Fugate pulled out a victory in the first game, but Team Erno responded with a victory in the second and third game to seal the victory.  A historic victory for Team Erno as it gave them their only overall lead in Broylmpic history.

Team Erno 1/2 - Team Fugate 0

Prop Bets:
First to Close Out a Number- Weaver
First Bullseye- Ty
First Broken Tip- Chad
First to Miss Board Completely- Anthony

FOOSBALL- (1/2 point to winner)
Our round one foosball match up brought us the juggernaut duo of Nate and Steve vs. Chad and Rose.  Nate must have been playing with a cheat code, because the dude was simply lights out.  He hammered home 8 goals, while Lewis chipped in two of his own, completing the 10-0 waxing of Team Erno in round one.

Round two brought us Ty and Anthony vs. Weaver and Chris.  This time Weaver had his game genie plugged in as he ripped in a magnificent seven, while Chris bombed three in from the defensive end for a 10-4 victory over Ty (3 goals) and Anthony (1 goal).

Our rubber match (brought to us by Trojain) gave us the Ty and Anthony duo teaming up again to take on Mike E. and the unstoppable Weaver.  This game was a lot like Victory, only instead of Weaver playing the Stallone character from Victory making huge saves, he was more like Rambo mowing down a dirty Nazi National Team with an uzi in each hand.  He single handily took out Team Fugate, scoring all of Team Erno's goals, winning the game 10 - 3 (Fugate 2, Deluca 1).  Look out, Team Erno has won their first (pseudo) events back to back!  Is this a sign of things to come???

Team Erno 1 - Team Fugate 0 

Prop Bets:
Foosball MVP- Weaver (17 goals)
Deciding Game Over/Under 16 1/2 points:  Under
Most Goals Scored by One Player in a Game Over/Under 5 1/2 points-  Waaaaaaay Over


BILLIARDS (1/2 point to winner)
With the proceedings moved to the new and improved Brolympic basement, the days events hit hour fifteen.  Conditioning was beginning to be an issue. Match up one paired the unlucky Foosball duo of Ty and Anthony vs. Rose and Chris.  There are more details about the lost colony of Roanoke than this event, however I think Chris may have scratched right off the break for an easy game one victory for Team Fugate.

IMPORTANT UPDATE- Video Footage Unearthed!

Lewis and Nate faced off against Weave and Mike E. for game two.  Knowing how awful I am, I can't imagine we pulled this one out.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is when Team Fugate officially won Billiards.

Team Erno 1 - Team Fugate 1/2

Prop Bets:

First Scratch- Chris

Total Scratches O/U 5 1/2- Under (Anthony, Mike E., Chris)

First Ball Sunk- Striped

NES CHALLENGE (1/2 point to winner)

Our last event of the evening started less than 8 hours away from opening ceremonies.  In other news, we're geniuses.  The games previously decided for the events were MIA, so we made due with Super Tecmo Bowl and RBI Baseball. (first world probs)  

Match up one brought us Lewis vs. Rose in Super Tecmo Bowl.  Looking for redemption for pivotal NES Challenge defeats in the past, Rose brought his A game, and pulled off the unlikely victory over Lewis 31 -14.

Next up had Nate vs. Weav in RBI Baseball.  This pitchers dual was being scouted heavily by the next round competitors.

The time stamp on this pic is 12:31 a.m. (again, geniuses)

Natey Ice pitched a gem and pulls out the 3-1 barnburner.

Round three brought us the recently rested Ty vs. Mike E. in RBI as well.  Although Mike E. outscored Nate and Weav combined with six runs; the cat nap did Ty well, as he brought his early morning wood to the proceedings and knocked home 11 runs of his own.   The night really devolved from there.  I think Team Erno was saved from the inevitable virtual fisting Steve was about to impart on Chad in Double Dribble.

Although I don't remember if we gave Team Fugate credit for the W in this partial event, for record keeping sake, I think it's safe to assume they got the victory.

Prop Bets:
Tecmo Bowl Over/ Under 34 1/2- Over
Blades of Steel Over/Under 10 1/2- N/A

At the end of a lonnnnnnnnnnng ass day, we have 36 holes of golf, The Selection Show, meals, a "few" drinks and four events in the book. Starting in mere hours the days events will be locked up at one point a piece.

Team Erno 1 - Team Fugate 1

Up Next:

- Ugh...whose idea was the Friday events?

- There goes my bowels.

- Let the games begin! (again)

ONE MONTH WARNING, ETC?!

I know...I feel the same way.  Soooooo...as some of you may have noticed, we're getting pretty effing close to the big weekend!

BROLYMPIC VI

OCTOBER 16-18, 2015

Apologies on my end for lack of content.  I'd make an excuse about life getting in the way or some such nonsense, but instead I just spent the last 30 minutes google image searching the funniest wanking motion photo to insert here.  (not recommended if you're on a Government owned work computer)

This entry is essentially to let you know that I'm alive and ramping up for next month.  I'm aiming to finish last years recap, as well as preview this years games. Also, I'd like my team to know  that instead of trying to get in shape this year, I'm going the complete opposite direction.  In other news, this year's uniforms will be Japanese style Kimonos, with an option to get a Homer Simpson like mumu.  

In the meantime, I'd like to address some rumors:

1. Will this be my celebration after every non-gutter ball I throw?

Answer: Trick question assholes, this is going to be my celebration all day long!

2. Rose is potentially getting some new ink before the games and we have a Brolympic Platinum exclusive sneak preview of his new look:

Have a great weekend you animals.