The Bets are In

I think the biggest upset is that I recieved everyone's picks on time.  Thanks for taking a few minutes to get these in before Saturday.

Struggling with the idea of sharing results, because I don't want the events or actions of anyone swayed by others votes.  However, there are some that are harmless to share, and I think I'll toss a few out this way:

WHO'S READY FOR SOME BAD ASS EXCELL PIE CHARTS ON A THURSDAY MORNING!

Starting Lineups

Introducing your 2012 Brolympic Participants!

From the two time defending champs the Maroon Team:

- A polyamorous PA Sports Fan, transplanted from Shiremanstown to Beaver Falls; like C & C Music Factory his cross over dribble will make you go hmmm...let's hear if for #6

ANTHONY DELUCA!!!

- He's had more schooling than I will have in three life times; when he's not saving lives, he's ending them...on the Grid Iron...let's give a warm brolympic welcome to our site host #20

TYLER FUGATE!!!

- A Graduate of the Dick Trickle Driving Academy w/ a masters in Craigslist and Golden Tee; He's a Real American, so eat your vitamins and say your prayers for #13

STEVE LEWIS!!!

- A not so closet Disney officianado; he'll put one by you in net faster than you can say "hey foxymophandlemama that's me"; he may trade a kidney for a slim jim, let's give it up for #10

MIKE MOTZ!!!

- A fan of the Steel City, Tequila, and Kicking Ass; His biceps could lead to HGH testing for next years events; He's prolific for making Brolympic Babies, let's just hope it's not during Corn Hole! Introducing # 26

NATE PIGOTT!!!

And now the runner up for the past two years, The Green Team:

- Never afraid to stir things up; he eats grizzly and shits flannel; he'll be raining ringers like he's pissing busch light; and you wouldn't like him when he's angry, lets hear it for Big E himself, #40

CHRIS ERNO!!!

- Pound for pound our hairiest competitor;  blood like marinara; a five meal athlete at the top of his game, ladies and gentleman get those fannies off your seats for #17

MIKE ERNO!!!

- He'll be flashing leather like Jessie Spano in Showgirls; dropping deuces like it's his job; a Canadian and Arena Football league savant, give it up for #43

CHAD LENTZ!!!

- Representing the dirty south, professional Joose connoisseur and fantasy nascar legend; he'll be giving the paparazzi plenty of eye candy; so lets turn up the Octane for #22

DAVE ROSSELLO!!!

- He'll sleep in your daughter's bed and then vomit from it; a professional bathroom re-decorator; and this teams only glimmer of something called stamina, let's extend a warm brolympic welcome to #27

DAVE WEAVER!!!

Congratulations you're all winners*

*except for 50% of you

Shallow Thoughts- An Unrelated Editorial

Now most of us have children, and those that don't are subject to them on a regular basis.  Well...there's no easy way to transition into this subject, so I'm just going to rip the band aid off fast and ask...

Why don't kid's shits sink? 

Seriously.  If I converted my diet to 100% hot dogs, chicken fingers and candy would my deuces float?  (lets be honest, if that were the case I would have had a porcelain armada in college)  Mythbusters need to tackle this subject. 

Now when my little guy was just getting potty trained, the little floating feces weren't that alarming.  But now, I flip the toilet seat open first thing in the morning and find the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier waiting for me. 

It's inconceivable that this monster didn't sink. I honestly dont' remember if mine ever floated.  I can't see how.  Sticking with the nautical theme, I'm more like the Hunt for Red October. (no I don't shit telescopes) They keep diving and diving to deeper depths, never breaching the surface.

These floaters really have my mind racing.  Certainly if I was trapped on a desert island void of trees, I would try to convince the lone hot chick (also trapped on the island) that we would need to have lots of sex so that she could pop out a baby or two, in hopes of cultivating enough preschool poo to build a raft in 3-5 years. 

The initial conversation would probably go something like this:

ME: Hey...I can't help but notice we live next to each other.

HotChick: We're the only two people on this island.

ME: So I have this idea on how to get off...

HC: I've seen what you've been doing behind the bushes!

ME: Oh right...no, I have an idea how to get off the island.

HC: Really?  This isn't a trick for me to have sex with you is it?

ME: (incredulous) You think because you're the only vagina on this island not made from coconut husks, that I'm into you?

HC: I just assumed the way you've been staring at me from behind the bushes...

ME: Enough about the bushes!  Do you want to hear my plan or not?

....5 minutes pass while I explain the plan in great detail....

ME:  (cont)...and then to avoid chaffing from all the sand, I think it would be best if I laid in the shallow surf.

HC: (staring expressionless at me) I need you to start wearing pants.

ME: Soooo...want to go look at my sand sculpture porn to get in the mood?

-END SCENE-

Grant it, it's a long plan, and I haven't had an opportunity to iron out all the details yet, but I think it makes for a plausible escape option, if not for a potential summer blockbuster.

Milk Was a Bad Choice...

I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, that the chance of rain has dropped back to 10% after reaching 30% yesterday.  The bad news is that the high temp is going to be around 78 - 80 degrees...which, for me, is about 20 degrees too warm to think about moving.  I'd be dehydrated without adding alcohol to this equation...but with all the booze, my tendons will be beef jerky by 10 a.m.





There's still a 60% chance of evening showers. (i.e. there's a also a 60% chance we won't burn Ty's garage to the ground.)

Moral of the story... I'm considering installing some of those misting stations around the park and Ty's house.  If not that, you may see me walking around with Ty's garden hose down my shorts all morning. And yes, I am happy to see you.

Weather Roulette/ Vomit Watch 2012

After watching the weather go from a 10% chance of rain, to a 60% chance of rain, we look like we're settling around the 20% chance of rain. The closer we get the  more detailed info we're getting, looks like the evening is more risky for a a chance of rain, but that suits our events fine.

Even if it pours buckets Saturday, we'll modify accordingly.   We are having events no matter what.  We may have to adjust the schedule, but this is going to happen Armageddon or shine. Remember, half of us flew threw Katrina just to get to Ty's bachelor party.  We're geniuses.

Speaking of disasters, if I somehow puke first again (unlikely) I'd like you to rush me to the hospital... Sunday after the events...or...lets make it Monday, I don't want to miss NFL games.  Last year, I can only assume that the little bit of pilsner that sneaked back out of me was due to the fact that I was days away from having my appendix explode.  If you can believe my surgeon, it was one of the grossest things he's ever seen.  I can only imagine that my insides were seeping out intermittently like a bike tire with a pin hole leak. Only instead of being filled with air, the tire was filled with deadly bacteria. (and probably some bacon)

Moral of the story, that was probably only the 3rd or 4th time in my life alcohol caused vomit to escape my body.  And I'm still not convinced it was the alcohol's fault. So if it happens this year, let's just assume I have 4 days to live and lets go get hookers. (wait...does my wife have access to this?)


REMINDER: PROP BET EXTRAVAGANZA DUE WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 19.  
 You don't have to have anything high tech like a scanner, or modify the word document if you don't have word...just email me your answers with the corresponding number.

Still to come...Hope to get a final dollar amount soon.  Misc. Odds & Ends.    Pain.   (maybe not in that order)

Just Doing Some Dishes

Ready to drink from...

Steam Bath

Only the best for our shirts.