It's finally here!

Nope...not our name in the phone book...

What I'm referring to is the 10 day weather forecast...we finally have a glimpse of what we may be dealing with:

I'm cautiously optimistic, since they're calling for a 60% chance of showers the day before.  A lot can change between now and then, but so far so good.  If we get this weather, I'll try not to bitch about it being about 20 degrees too warm for me to be active.  That includes cornhole and horse shoes.  What I'm trying to say is...I'm going to have a nice sheen on me if we're in the 70's.  Just a heads up to anyone guarding me in B-ball.  It's like going to Sea World or an R. Kelly concert.  Those in the first few rows will get wet.

America's Most Wanted

Pre-Ramble:
Before I get into the topic at hand, let me show a re-creation of how you may react upon entering the bathroom Sunday morning after Brolympics (if my morning bowels stay synced or if Weavs excorist-like, 360 degree vomit ride is operational):


And after you recover from that hypothetical crime scene, let me take another moment to share my dedication to the craft.  You may or may not be aware that a little title called NHL 13 was released yesterday.  You also may or may not be aware that I purchased it over lunch.  What you probably have no idea, is that I wasn't wearing underpants while I purchased it that due to the immense event update from last night, I have not had a chance to play said title.  All I had a chance to do was update the cover:

Don't feel sorry for me Argentina, I just wanted to show how serious I am about this event an excuse to post that picture. 

I'm brainstorming a list of what we need for the day still and have come up with the following:

Hockey: Bring your own sticks.  I have an extra one or two I'll bring.  We may need a new ball?  Ty I'll depend on you to let me know if we need to buy one.

HR Derby: I have a bat or two and a ball or two.  I'm thinking if we get a few more, it will keep the pace of that event moving.  Anyone have any extra regulation whiffle balls at home?  If not, I'll add it to the shopping list.

Horse Shoes: I have a set, Chris bring yours.  We definitely want two games going at same time this year.  I'll bring a rake and mallet.

Basketball: If you have a decent ball bring it.  Lewis sleeps with one and I know Ty and I have one as well. 

Bowling: I know at least two of you with your own gear.  Bring it if you got it.  I'll be busy airing my sack out over the air vent at the aptly-named ball return.

Football: If you have a decent football, bring it.  The custom board is almost complete.  If this doesn't end up in the Smithsonian I'll be shocked.

Cornhole: Ty and Lewis have this covered I believe.  Call me I'm an idiot if I'm mistaken.

Flip Cup/ Beer Pong: Cups (shopping list?)/ Beer...more on that later.  I'll snag a table from work.

NES Sports Challenge: Lewis, I assume you will be bringing your new purchase as well as the Wii?  And Ty will be raiding his parents basement for the pertinent games. 

Odds & Ends: We still need a funnel.  Let me know if you have one, or we'll have to add it to shopping list. (these always turn out to the be the best shopping lists)

Beer: Plan on bringing a case of your favorite beverage in a cooler unless anyone has any other ideas. 

Anything else that sounds like fun, you know the drill by now, bring it.

Still to come: Financial update, Weather Forecasts and the Friday Night Golf.

Event Horizon

Alrighty ladies...it's almost go time.  We are about 11 days from an event so glorious, that even the slightest whisper of it's name, makes panty soup.

With out further ado, here is the event list and estimated times/ locations:

EVENTS:

• 7:50 a.m. - Opening Ceremonies- Cornwall Borough Hockey Rink 

           

View Cornwall Borough Hockey Rink in a larger map

Try and get your lazy ass to the park by around 7:50 a.m.  Sleep at Ty's if you want an extra hour of sleep, or pitch a tent in center field. (not a euphemism*)  

*definitely a euphemism

• 8:00 a.m. - Street Hockey (Cornwall Borough Park)

         - 5 on 5
         - Three, 15 minute periods

• 9:30 a.m. - Home Run Derby (Cornwall Borough Park)

         - whiffle ball
         - 1 round per person (cumulative home runs per team)
         - 10 outs per person (any swing that isn't home run= out)

• 10:30 a.m. - Horse Shoes (Cornwall Borough Park)

         - Two simultaneous games in baseball infield
         - Games to 21, win by 2
         - 3 games total, 1 player plays two games (this player cannot play two games in future events)
         - Cumulative score of all three games determines winner of event

• 11:45 a.m. - Basketball (Cornwall Elementary School)

         - One full court game to 21 points



View Larger Map
 

• 1:30 p.m.  - Thirsty Van Ride to Bowling Alley (pick up at Ty's).  Will be eliminating times from break down for rest of day after this, as the day is meant to take us where it will. 

• Bowling (Cedar Lanes Bowling Alley)

          - Bring Cash for three games and for food/drinks
          - Cumulative score from all three games determines winner of event. 

• Inaugural Football Toss (Ty's House)

          - Three different size holes.  Largest hole = 1 pt. Medium hole = 2 pt. Smallest hole = 5 pt. 
          - Each player will funnel beer, then have 10 throws to score as many points as possible.
          - Cumulative team score determines winner.

• Cornhole (Ty's House)

          - Three games
          -  Games to 21, win by 2
          - 3 games total, 1 player plays two games (cannot be same person that went twice for horseshoes)
          - Cumulative score of all three games determines winner of event

• Flipcup (Ty's House)

         - 5 on 5
         - Best of 7
         - Mostly standard beers and amounts in cups

• Super Beer Pong (Ty's House)

          - Minimum of 15 cups used.  Standard beer pong rules.

• NES Sports Challenge (Ty's House)

          - Random names pulled to determine who plays which game
          - Potential games (Pro Wrestling, Double Dribble, Blades of Steel, RBI Baseball, Super Tecmo Bowl)
          - Top Loader NES System Making an appearance this year

•  Lord Manly Cup Presentation (assuming anyone is conscious)  

***As always, events, times and rules subject to change as we collectively think of more bad ass ideas***

PS MFers -Updates to come on who is bringing what, unbelievable bowel movements and your ten day weather forecast.  

Your Favorite Extravaganza Has Returned

Brolympic Prop Bet Extravaganza

One Month Warning

General Update

With a month left to go until the most glorious time of the year, I thought I'd be generous and drop some knowledge on your collective asses.

The cashflow situation should be more favorable than last year.  We got a sweet deal on shirts, plus a generous sponsor, so it's looking like shirts may be on the house.  Beyond that, we're going to have the van transport to and from the Bowling Alley again.  Awaiting cost break down, but I think that it was close to $25/ person last year.

Speaking of bowling, you'll need some $ for 3 games / ordering food/ ordering drinks / collateral to pay for any damages that may incur at alley while you're blacked out of your gourd and/or dry humping the air vent at the ball return.

Always a great time to pay up for your fantasy leagues you may be in as well.

Prop bets are being worked on as I type.  If you want to participate, bring your $5 to toss in again this year.  If you have any fun bets to add, please share.  Email or comment on this post.  Think I have last years results and will scan and post when I dig them up. 

Schedule

The schedule is forthcoming (that's what she said), but opening ceremonies will be at 8 a.m. at Cornwall Borough Hockey Rink.  So you have options, sleep over Friday night at Ty's or drive your sleepy ass Saturday morning. 

Events

Minor tweaking from last year:

Hockey
Home Run Derby
Horse Shoes
Basketball
Bowling
Football Toss
Cornhole
Flip Cup
Beer Pong
NES/ Old School Gaming Consul Equivalent Sports Challenge

Reminders

Bring a waterbottle to drink out of when we're at the park in the morning.  Preferably not a clear bottle or one in the shape of a beer bottle.  I may have a few extras laying around house I can bring if anyone forgets.  Attempting to not draw anymore attention to ourselves than we already do.  I'm considering just filling my camel bag and wearing a backpack of pure pilsner all day.

Will be reaching out for help in who's bringing what as we get closer (i.e. Funnel, Football, Horse Shoes, etc.)

Look forward to updates on:

- Schedules
- Event breakdowns
- Prop bets
- Extended weather forecasts
- My BM's

September 22- ABWD

Wanted to try and figure out the best way to remind everyone of the date for Brolympics III.  I did some interesting research. Turns out Sept. 22 is former Mets clubhouse firecracker thrower Vince Coleman's birthday, as well as 1800's English Scientist/ LOST inspiration Michael Faraday's.  Also the steel strike of 1919 started on this date in PA.  But I'm sure you knew that already as well.  What I'm guessing you didn't know is that September 22 is American Business Women's Day. ( If you did know that, please hit the "X" in the top right hand corner, and then go punch yourself in the genitals for the shame you have brought upon this special occasion as well as the male gender as a whole.)

 How fitting, that ABWD is Sept. 22 and what a surprise!  So I google imaged searched the most appropriate image I could find for ABWD and this is what I found:

 I'm assuming this is the logo they put on their letter head and beer coozies.  Either way, use this as a memory device.  I now hope that Sept. 22 is burned into your psyche like the virtual herpes that are burned into those clip art panties. See you in 6 1/2 weeks, bring the Valtrex, leave the cannoli.

BROLYMPICS II RECAP - FINAL RIGHTS

The timeliest of recaps ends....NOW. (insert your own foreboding music)

Where last we left off, Team Navy was up 4 - 2 for the day heading into the inaugural event of:

EVENT SEVEN- LADDER GOLF

I have to be honest.  I don't remember much about this event either.  And it's not like it was "Mike at Bowling" not remembering, just an eh...not that exciting of an event.  Thus it being eliminated from this years festivities.  However, I think it may make a strong comeback in future years if we ever decide to light the balls on fire.  Just a thought.

I do know Team Orange pulled this one out of their collective asses and climbed back to with in one point.

TEAM NAVY 4 - TEAM ORANGE 3

Also, I snapped this absurd pic:

Someone better tell Anthony "jerking off the invisible man" isn't an event.

EVENT 8 - FLIP CUP

If year one taught us anything, it's that Team Orange (minus two players plus the Erno's going twice) aren't nothing to eff with when it comes to flip cup. Unfortunately for Team Orange, that wasn't the case this year.  Suspiciously there is no evidence of this event, as I would like to review what each of us were drinking.  I suspect the cups ranged from watered down goat piss for some, and microbrews with a side of nos for others. Team Navy prevails as the night starts to spiral out of control.

TEAM NAVY 5 - TEAM ORANGE 3

EVENT 9 - SUPER BEER PONG

Team Orange jumped out to a commanding lead.  They whittled down their cups pretty fast, but had a hellacious time clearing the table.  As the game drug on, madness ensued..

Not pictured (in no particular order):

• Ty obliterating the contents of Motz's wallet with a Iky Woodsesque spike to the drive way.
• Chris dropping half a sequoia tree on the fire.
• Pigott sacrificing some Tequila to the bonfire gods/ firebombing Ty's driveway.
• Chad dropping deuce #2?
• Team Orange barely holding for the victory to yet again pull them with in one point.

TEAM NAVY 5 - TEAM ORANGE 4

EVENT TEN- NES SPORTS CHALLENGE

The second brand new event and last event of the night was the NES Sports Challenge.  Each player faced off against a player from the opposing team in one of the Classic Nintendo sports games of yore. (or any sport game we could find on the Wii).

(the following match ups and individual results may not be 100% accurate...sue me bitches)

First up was Weaver vs. Lewis in DOUBLE DRIBBLE.  This was a blood bath.  Understandably so.  This game is as much in Lewis's blood as Chris has copious amounts of Grizzly in his. This was a Team USA vs. Nigeria situation.  Easy win for Lewis.

Next up was Mike vs. Pigott in BLADES OF STEEL.  Mike jumped out to a seemingly insurmountable lead in the first period.  Half way through the second, Nate started getting a feel for the game (and/or muscle memory from 20 years ago) and he made a game of it.  Ultimately Mike held on to win.

Chris and Ty took aim at Baseball.  Not RBI baseball...the very basic baseball.  As Chris hasn't picked up a controller since maybe this game came out, he's not a fan of this event.  Fortunately he was still working on his case of Busch Light and that no one is really that good at this game.  Ty and Chris were all tied in the bottom of the last inning.  Ty had runners on first and second, and hits an easy double play ball to the second basemen that should have forced extra innings.  Inexplicably Chris's second baseman stayed crouched like he was taking a dump on the outfield grass. Instead he was metaphorically taking a dump on Team Orange's hearts.  Bases chuck full of Ty's Team Navy guys.  There was talk of playing the outfield shallow, but then we remembered that Q-Bert had more options than this game. Ty hits a soft liner just over the tubby shortstop's arms and wins the game 2-1.

*you may ask yourself, "Why the eff do you remember so much detail on that game?"  Answer: most of it is filmed for prosperity's sake.

Chad takes on Anthony for a little Ice Hockey action.  None of this was on tape.  I'm pretty sure Chad won 38 - 4.  Regardless it wasn't close.  So for those keeping score, the NES sports challenge is all tied up at 2-2 going into the last game of the event. 

TECMO BOWL. 

Rose vs. Motz

I don't think a write up will even do justice.  Let's go to the bullet points:

• Rose had the high powered  Raiders with Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen.
• Motz was the high powered Giants with Lawrence Taylor playing coked out of his mind.
• Seriously LT had approximately 9 interceptions.
• No TD's were scored in this game
• Let me repeat that stat...No TD's were scored in this game.  A game where Bo Jackson or Marcus Allen had a 75% chance of ripping off a 80 TD, there were none to be had.
• Both teams combined for under 7 points.
• One team combined for 6 points.
• The other team was shut out.
• A shut out is when you score ZERO points.
• Final Score NY Giants (Motz) 6 - Raiders (Rose) 0.

FINAL BROLYMPIC SCORE:

TEAM NAVY 6 - TEAM ORANGE 4

Back to Back Brolympic Champions.