Friday, August 3, 2012

BROLYMPICS II RECAP - FINAL RIGHTS

The timeliest of recaps ends....NOW. (insert your own foreboding music)

Where last we left off, Team Navy was up 4 - 2 for the day heading into the inaugural event of:

EVENT SEVEN- LADDER GOLF

I have to be honest.  I don't remember much about this event either.  And it's not like it was "Mike at Bowling" not remembering, just an eh...not that exciting of an event.  Thus it being eliminated from this years festivities.  However, I think it may make a strong comeback in future years if we ever decide to light the balls on fire.  Just a thought.

I do know Team Orange pulled this one out of their collective asses and climbed back to with in one point.

TEAM NAVY 4 - TEAM ORANGE 3

Also, I snapped this absurd pic:

Someone better tell Anthony "jerking off the invisible man" isn't an event.
EVENT 8 - FLIP CUP

If year one taught us anything, it's that Team Orange (minus two players plus the Erno's going twice) aren't nothing to eff with when it comes to flip cup. Unfortunately for Team Orange, that wasn't the case this year.  Suspiciously there is no evidence of this event, as I would like to review what each of us were drinking.  I suspect the cups ranged from watered down goat piss for some, and microbrews with a side of nos for others. Team Navy prevails as the night starts to spiral out of control.

TEAM NAVY 5 - TEAM ORANGE 3

EVENT 9 - SUPER BEER PONG

Team Orange jumped out to a commanding lead.  They whittled down their cups pretty fast, but had a hellacious time clearing the table.  As the game drug on, madness ensued..

Not pictured (in no particular order):

  • Ty obliterating the contents of Motz's wallet with a Iky Woodsesque spike to the drive way.
  • Chris dropping half a sequoia tree on the fire.
  • Pigott sacrificing some Tequila to the bonfire gods/ firebombing Ty's driveway.
  • Chad dropping deuce #2?
  • Team Orange barely holding for the victory to yet again pull them with in one point.
TEAM NAVY 5 - TEAM ORANGE 4

EVENT TEN- NES SPORTS CHALLENGE

The second brand new event and last event of the night was the NES Sports Challenge.  Each player faced off against a player from the opposing team in one of the Classic Nintendo sports games of yore. (or any sport game we could find on the Wii).

(the following match ups and individual results may not be 100% accurate...sue me bitches)

First up was Weaver vs. Lewis in DOUBLE DRIBBLE.  This was a blood bath.  Understandably so.  This game is as much in Lewis's blood as Chris has copious amounts of Grizzly in his. This was a Team USA vs. Nigeria situation.  Easy win for Lewis.

Next up was Mike vs. Pigott in BLADES OF STEEL.  Mike jumped out to a seemingly insurmountable lead in the first period.  Half way through the second, Nate started getting a feel for the game (and/or muscle memory from 20 years ago) and he made a game of it.  Ultimately Mike held on to win.

Chris and Ty took aim at Baseball.  Not RBI baseball...the very basic baseball.  As Chris hasn't picked up a controller since maybe this game came out, he's not a fan of this event.  Fortunately he was still working on his case of Busch Light and that no one is really that good at this game.  Ty and Chris were all tied in the bottom of the last inning.  Ty had runners on first and second, and hits an easy double play ball to the second basemen that should have forced extra innings.  Inexplicably Chris's second baseman stayed crouched like he was taking a dump on the outfield grass. Instead he was metaphorically taking a dump on Team Orange's hearts.  Bases chuck full of Ty's Team Navy guys.  There was talk of playing the outfield shallow, but then we remembered that Q-Bert had more options than this game. Ty hits a soft liner just over the tubby shortstop's arms and wins the game 2-1.

*you may ask yourself, "Why the eff do you remember so much detail on that game?"  Answer: most of it is filmed for prosperity's sake.

Chad takes on Anthony for a little Ice Hockey action.  None of this was on tape.  I'm pretty sure Chad won 38 - 4.  Regardless it wasn't close.  So for those keeping score, the NES sports challenge is all tied up at 2-2 going into the last game of the event. 

TECMO BOWL. 
Rose vs. Motz

I don't think a write up will even do justice.  Let's go to the bullet points:

  • Rose had the high powered  Raiders with Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen.
  • Motz was the high powered Giants with Lawrence Taylor playing coked out of his mind.
  • Seriously LT had approximately 9 interceptions.
  • No TD's were scored in this game
  • Let me repeat that stat...No TD's were scored in this game.  A game where Bo Jackson or Marcus Allen had a 75% chance of ripping off a 80 TD, there were none to be had.
  • Both teams combined for under 7 points.
  • One team combined for 6 points.
  • The other team was shut out.
  • A shut out is when you score ZERO points.
  • Final Score NY Giants (Motz) 6 - Raiders (Rose) 0.
FINAL BROLYMPIC SCORE:
TEAM NAVY 6 - TEAM ORANGE 4

Back to Back Brolympic Champions.



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