Prop Results

It's that time of the year, to bask in the glory of Microsoft Excel.  Presented without comment*.  Find your own motivation:

*there will be some comments

Sooo...everyone...except Chris...riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Come one Rose, relax that throat!  I have a side bet on this. 

Already humming it to myself.

The hook will be going on for Mike E. as well...unfortunately it will be during 3 pt. Shoot Out.

If conscious, pipes will be involved

Bulletin Board Material Juan

Starting Line Ups- Part II

Welcome back to BSPN's continuing coverage of the Seventh Brolympic Games.  We left off reviewing the champs and their fantasy implications.  Let's take a deep dive and see how the challengers are looking coming into this year's games:

That wraps up our Brolympic VII team break downs and starting line ups.  Enjoy the games!

Starting Line Ups- Part I

Welcome to the Brolympic Sports Programming Network's Brolympic VII Preview Special! After five consecutive years of clear cut winners, BRO VI ended in some ambiguity.  In a recap special unearthed by Pedro Gomez on some site called, Brolympic Platinum, we have recently learned that IBC Officials botched a pivotal score last year. Pedro with the follow up:

"Thanks Fellas, I'm here in Cornwall Borough, where we're less than one week away from Brolympic VII.  I have to be honest, I sort of stumbled upon this news.  I was searching for Tebow Fan Fiction when I found pages and pages of homoerotic beer funneling.  Let's just say I was engrossed.  The ripple effects of the recent discovery of poor record keeping has yet to fully be explored.  I'd have to imagine it may help properly motivate Team Blue from last years games.  Although a combined Oh-fer in Brolympic History should also be a motivating factor."

 Thanks Pedro, you huge weirdo.  Let's take a look at this years starting line ups and their fantasy implications.  Beginning with the Champs:
_______________________________________________________________________

We'll be back after this brief commercial break with the run down of the challengers.  

Brolympic VI Recap- Part 4

EVENT 5- Three-Point Shootout

We're seven hours into Brolympic 6 and just hitting the fifth event.  For those who like math, our current pace is one event every 1 3/4 hour, which would have us finishing sometime after 4 a.m.  For the record, I'd like to again stress how smart we are.

Dave W. started Team Blue in the Three-Point Shoot Out with a modest round of 5 pts.  Steve followed with an uncharacteristic 4.  Team Blue up 5-4.  Dave R. notched 5 pts. of his own to increase Blue's lead to 10-4.  Anthony evaporated Blue's lead by draining 7 pts. and putting Red in the lead 11-10.  Mike E. labored 3 pts in, to put Blue back in the lead momentarily before Nate dropped a 6 spot on Team Blue's collective faces.  Red up 17-13.  This event was Dave W's turn to go twice, and he tied up the game with 4 pts.  The commish feeling his home court advantage splashed home 7 to put Red up 24-17.  Team Blue's down town assassin, Chad, turned in this rounds highest total with an 8 spot to put Blue up 25-24.  Needing only two to win, Mike M. felt no obligation to get anymore than that and barely brought home the victory for Team Red in the first round 26-25.

Dave W. kicked off the second round with 6 pts.  Oh hey...did someone call UNO?! Because Steve followed that up with a one point effort.  Team Blue up 6-1.  Rose tacked on two more, before Anthony helped bring Red back into contention with 5 pts.  Team Blue up 8-6.  Mike E., being a fan of UNO himself, managed to eek out one point, while Nate pushed Red ahead with a 5 pt. effort.  Red up 11-9.  Dave W. pushed Blue back ahead with a big round of 7.  16-11 Blue.  Red down by 5 with two shooters to go.  Well, someone just played a draw four card on Ty, as it turned out he was in on the UNO game and dropped a single digit as well.  16-12 Blue.  What was going on with Ty, Mike E. and Steve at this time of the day?!!

 Oh right.

As per usual, Chad trey'd the competition adding 3 more points to Blue's lead.  Could Mike M. be the hero again?  Unfortunately for Red, Mike fell short of the 7 he needed by finishing round 2 with another deuce.  Team Blue takes Round Two, 19-14. 

Dave W. put Team Blue in a good early spot, dropping 8 pts. to open the last round.  Steve, starting to awake from his slumber, doubled his total from the previous two rounds with a 5 spot.  Team Blue up 8-5.  Dave R.'s stamina was dwindling, and I take full responsibility for not putting on some Disturbed or making him funnel a Four Loco.  Dave was unable to muster a point, while Anthony pretty much did the exact opposite, making it rain for 11 pts.  Team Red up 16-8.  Mike E. tripled his last round...for a total of 3 pts, and Nate helped keep his team comfortably in the lead with 4pts.  20-11 Team Red.  Dave W. shooting in his 6th and last round dropped another 8 spot to give Team Blue some life. 20-19 Red.  Just as they were getting some life, the good doctor remembered his home court advantage and snuffed out Blue by splashing 10 pts. in their faces.  Red up 30-19.  Chad only needing 11 to tie, hit a respectable 3, and Mike M. decided to add insult to injury by tacking on 5 more to close out the event.  Team Red 35-21.  Round Three was a blood bath.  

TEAM RED 2 - TEAM BLUE 3

If the official stat sheet is any indication, not many Broathletes were concerned with the score at this point.  Also this picture:

Oh right, the sequel.

EVENT 6- Football Toss

Thank goodness for the Official Stat Book of Brolympic VI (tm), otherwise there wouldn't be much to report on this event. Ty opened the scoring with 6 pts, and Chad followed with 10, putting Team Blue up 10-6 early.  Nate tossed 6 pts., while Chad got to go again and matched him for 6 more of his own.  16-12 Team Blue.  Feeling the magic of his starting line up figure, Steve put up 8 pts, while Mike E. surprisingly notched 6.  Team Blue up 22-20.  Anthony found the transition from hoops to football difficult and only managed a 2 spot.  Dave W. joined Chad in the 10 Club to put Blue up 32-22.  Mike M. was in the closer's role again, but came up a little short, with 4 pts.  Dave R. finished Round 1 with 6 points.  Team Blue takes Round 1, 38-26.  

At some point during football toss, Nate decided to funnel a Perpetual. 

Which seemed like a great idea to this reviewer, so he followed suit.  Unfortunately, that was one of the last things he remembers about Football Toss.  Ty opened Round 2 with a strong 8 pts., but Chad answered with 11.  11-8 Team Blue.  Nate stayed consistent with another 6 pt performance, while Chad tailed off his average with a 4 pt performance.  15-14 Team Blue.  Speaking of consistent, Steve hammered home another 8 pts., but fueled up with local IPA strength, Mike E. answered with 8 pts. of his own. 23-22 Team Blue.  Anthony completely redeemed himself from Round 1, and exploded for 12 points.  Dave W. did his best to keep Team Blue close with another 10 pt. round.  Team Red now up by one, 34-33. Mike M. added 6 pts. to Red's lead, putting them up 40-33.  Needing 8 to win, Dave R. fell half way short of that goal with 4 pts.  Team Red takes Round Two, 40-37.

I'm slightly confused about what happened afterwards.  I know I was tackled a few times, hung out in the playground area for a bit, and then took a "break" in the living room to watch Game 1 of the NLDS.  Unclear how Football Toss ended up, but I have the following message on group text explaining what was going on to Chris:

I didn't major in math, but how did you drunk bastards decide to give the Football Toss victory to Team Red based on pts???!  

Round 1- Team Blue 38          Team Red 26

Round 2- Team Blue 37          Team Red 40

TOTAL- Team Blue 75         Team Red 66

TEAM RED 3  - TEAM BLUE 3

TEAM RED 2 - TEAM BLUE 4

EVENT 7- Cornhole

There's not a lot to go on...this may be mostly accurate:

Mike M. and Ty  21 -13 Chad and Dave W.  

Nate and Steve 21 - 13 Dave W. and Dave R.

Celebration gone wrong.

The only other note in the Official Brolympic 6 Stat Book for this event is:

"Fugate MVP for coming back from a ten spot by Weaver."

TEAM RED 4 - TEAM BLUE 3

TEAM RED 3 - TEAM BLUE 4

EVENT 8- Darts
No pictures.  No stats.  Supposedly Team Red Won, but after that Football Toss debacle, what can you believe?! A few prop bets were scribbled down:

• First to Close out a #- Dave W.
• First Bulls-eye- Mike M.
• First to Break Tip- No One
• First to Miss Board- Dave R.

TEAM RED 5 - TEAM BLUE 3

TEAM RED 4 - TEAM BLUE 4

EVENT 9- Foosball

Still no pictures.  No stats.  Supposedly Team Red Won...yada yada yada.  Records show the reemergence of Mike E. for this event. 

TEAM RED 6 - TEAM BLUE 3

TEAM RED 5 - TEAM BLUE 4

 

 At this point in the evening, Team Red believed they had clinched Brolympic VI. 

Prop Bets:

• Player w/ Most Goals in One Game. Over/Under 5 1/2: Over
• Combine Score of Deciding Game. Over/Under 16 1/2: Under
• MVP: Mike M. 

POST CREDITS

 

1 year old Busch Light was savored by the "victors". 

I don't know how to wrap this up. Even with the Football Toss discrepancy, Team Red won more events then Team Blue.  Would Team Blue have managed to not pass out prior to Billiards and try to force an 11th event tie-breaker if they knew they were only down one event?  We'll never know.  Since Mike E. took a two event break, that has haunted him like mutant cold sore the entire off season, there's the thought that he would have facetimed Chris for an inspirational speech/ scream to get everyone properly motivated.  As it is, he found himself playing darts by himself in the garage while everyone except Ty and Chad were out cold.  They then unofficially hit some pool downstairs before Chad joined the others on the sectional.  Ty cracked open a midnight brew and Mike E. went back to the garage to dream about what could have been.  

No matter the outcome, every Brolympic is a memorable weekend and the opportunity to do what we do once a year is beyond special.  Till next time. 

Official Brolympic VII Setlist

Looks like a pretty solid greatest hits arrangement. 

Ten Day Weather Outlook

Welcome to our first look at the extended forecast! Chance of some showers for early morning golfers on Friday.  It looks promising for the scramble Friday afternoon and Saturday's events.  Keep your fingers, legs and wangs crossed.

Speaking of looking promising, let's just say you won't be able to tell if I'm cold or just excited for the events when I'm poking through my shirt first thing in the morning.  #eyecandy

Brolympic VI Recap- Part 3

Event Two- Home Run Derby
Half way into setting up Home Run Derby and moving the Horse Shoe gear down to the baseball field, our luck of zero facility conflicts finally ran out.  A fall ball team showed up to start warming up for their game.  An audible was called and we had what may have been the best move in years and conducted the derby inside the hockey rink.  It was a glorious setting, as the "outfield fence" had different heights.  It was like a legit ball park.

First up for Team Red was Nate.  He started off the event with a hat-trick and put Team Red up 3-0. Rose followed for Team Blue, but in a unorthodox move, was thrown a healthy dose of high heat and off speed junk that prevented him from going yard. Anthony was Team Red's next batter, and he tacked on a run to Nate's three spot and put Team Red up 4-0.  Historic event favorite Mike E. was up next for Team Blue.  Trying to make up for his BROV goose egg, and get his team on the board, the unimaginable happened and he failed to go deep once again.  Mike E. was now a combined 0 for his last 22, ready to be admitted for observation. Team Blue needs some help.

Mike M. knocked 3 more out for Team Red, who was now up 7-0.  Dave W. was playing some inspired keep-away throughout the event. Climbing the fence and swatting would-be-home-runs like a monster in rampage swatting a helicopter.

Chad finally got Team Blue on the board with a three spot of his own Team Red still up 7-3.  Steve added another one for the Big Red Machine.  8-3.  Two batters left for Team Blue to make some noise.  Turns out, they would only need one.  Dave W. followed up his amazing defensive performance and crushed 8 unbelievable bombs to put Team Blue up 11-8.  Team Red's final batter was Ty.  Needing three to keep the event alive, he came through to tie the event at 11-11.  Because of the hole in their line up, Team Blue was able to choose which event they wanted someone to be able to go twice.  Needing something that has eluding him for the last 22 at bats, Mike E. saddled up to the plate and finally found his grove and had a Joey Bats walk off moment. Even though it was a moot point, he finished off the round with six more bombs to make the final 18-11.

Nate trying to bring one back. 

TEAM RED 0 - TEAM BLUE 2

 Prop Bets:

• Player w/ Most Home Runs. Over/Under 4 1/2: Over
• Furthest Home Run: Mike E.
• MVP: Dave W. 

EVENT 3- Horseshoes
Team Blue finds themselves in an unfamiliar situation up 2-0, but heading into an event without their favorite dipping specialist.  Playing in the grass behind the hockey rink was not an ideal setting, although Dave W. and Ty used some precise measurements while setting up.  Due to the conditions and our time constraint, we played first to 11.

The first match up pitted Mike M. and Anthony vs. Chad and Dave R.  Team Blue came out on top winning the match 11-5.

The second match up taking place simultaneously had Steve and Ty vs. Dave. W and Mike E.  Team Red evened the event up by flip flopping the results of the first match with an 11-5 win of their own.

The rubber match featured Nate and Ty for Team Red vs. the Dave's from Team Blue.  The power of the Dave's were not enough to overcome Nate and Ty, who got Team Red on the board for the day with an 11-6 win.

Team Red 1 - Team Blue 2

Prop Bets:

• First Ringer: Dave R.
• Most Ringers. Over/Under 2 1/2: Under
• MVP: Ty

Lunch Break

The time stamp on this picture is 12:58 p.m.

Due to shoes taking so long, 3 pt. shootout would have to wait until after bowling. Lunch was housed, because as we're reminded below, the wings at Cedar Lane's are not for human consumption:

VAN RIDE

Selfies for Chris.

EVENT 4- Bowling

After 1 p.m. and we're just starting the 4th event.  Certainly won't spell trouble for the remainder of the day.  At the time we didn't know this would be our last trip to Cedar Lane's, known for their previously mentioned uneatable wings and plentiful pitchers of beer.  As Nate stated upon hearing the unfortunate news of their closing, "Well, I think we were 75% of their annual beer sales." (take the over)  

For going out of business I don't believe we've ever seen it busier.  Although the placement of our two lanes by another children's birthday party couldn't have helped inspire repeat visitations.  That being said, we had plenty of horrified mothers watching the following events occur:

 Waste not, want not. 

We did inherit leftover birthday party pizza, but it was cold and a little dry.  

In round one of bowling, Steve and Dave W. both started hot with marks in 3 of their first 4 frames.  (two strikes for Dave, one fore Steve). Team Blue had Rose 1 and Rose 2 going for them, complete with costume change between turns.  Rose 1 was clearly the better bowler early on with spare, spare, strike in 3-5 frames.  Rose 2 didn't mark until it counted, with four rounds of consecutive spares. (Rounds 7-10) Chad had a great run in rounds 6-8 going strike, strike, spare.  Mike E. made up 40 pts in the final two rounds, increasing his score by more than 50% (from 71 to 111), by hitting Strike, Spare/Strike in the 9th and 10th frame.  

Besides Steve's hot start, Team Red had an uncharacteristically rough game.  Ty started to catch fire by the end, marking in 3 out of his last 5 frames with two spares and a strike.  Anthony also ended strong with a strike, spare, spare in rounds 7-9, including this heater in the 9th frame:

Team Blue takes the first round 626 - 552.

In Round 2, Team Blue picked up where it left off with a strong performance from Rose 1 and Rose 2 with 16 combined marks. Rose 2 was especially hot, starting the game with spare, strike, spare, spare, spare. And then, like Jesus, he took the 6th frame off.  He then continued spare, spare, strike and then decided to take it easy in the 10th because Rose 1 had already spare/striked the tenth.  

Team Red performed much better as Ty had 5 marks, including three strikes peppered through out the first 6 frames.  Breakout star, Anthony had a monster game for someone who throws the equivalent of a knuckle slurve.  He had 4 strikes, including strike, strike, spare for the final 3 frames.  Steve struggled early, missing some spares and splits he would have liked to have picked up.  Looking for motivation, he begged Mike E. to slap him if he missed the spare in one of the middle frames.  Mike E. being a humanitarian not seen since Mother Teresa and Princess Di tried to dissuade him from such a violent, and lets face it...likely conclusion, but Steve persisted.  LUCKILY we have video evidence to see the hesitation in Mike E., showing no eagerness to let a right fly across Steve's face.  

The adjustment to his world view and potential concussion propelled Steve to finish with spare, strike, spare in 7-9 frames.  Unfortunately it was not enough for Team Red to overcome Team Blue taking the round 644-628 and the event.

At this point in the day, there's a slight chance that there was a minor disagreement between those wanting to stick around and bowl a third game for fun and those that wanted to leave immediately.  There were strong arguments for both sides and this reviewer's resting pissed off face may have made an appearance.  Fortunately, because of the tense situation, we were blessed with this top ten Brolympic Memory:

In other news, Nate and Ty got an earful from our favorite van driver about her pet pigs and goats.  Ty then tried to purchase the van from her.  Chris sent some encouragement from Chicago, and a conversation about obtaining a CDL was had.  I'm pretty sure that entire 2+ hours is how Cedar Lanes would have liked to have remembered us. 

TEAM RED 1 - TEAM BLUE 3

Prop Bets:

• First Strike: Lewis
• Highest Player Bowling Score in One Game: Rose 1
• Highest Player Bowling Score in One Game. Over/Under 185 1/2: Under
• Highest Team Bowling Score in One Game. Over/Under 715 1/2: Under
• First Gutter Ball: Mike E.
• Fastest Ball. Over/Under 21 1/2 mph: Under
• Slowest Ball. Over/Under 12 1/2 mph: Under
• Pitchers of Beer. Over/Under 12 1/2: Under (8)

UP NEXT: 

• Three Point Shoot Out
• Football Toss
• A Long Period of Darkness
• Confusion
• The End of the Day???

Brolympic 6 Recap- Part 2

Post Scramble Dinner:
After about 10 hours on the course, a proper meal was necessary to adequately "prep" for the following day's events. Unfortunately the simple burger I ordered took longer than the Godfather epic.

I imagine after I ordered my meal, the staff went into some secret back room, put on some Mark Morrison, and excitingly watched a steer and cow get busy between the sheets.  After a brief 283 day gestation period, my meal was born and casually put into a hyper incubator where it was then processed and turned into ground beef...only, after they finished sorting their favorite bazooka joe gum wrappers by plot believability.  I'm being conservative in my estimating, but that's how long it felt.
Fortunately there was a guy playing a guitar to the greatest hits of our high school years, and didn't mind obnoxious requests from the bar.  Can't imagine the bar gets that many sing-a-longs either. Shit we sounded good.

Selection Show;

Fireworks were set off. Swag was given out.  Event orders were chosen. Games were played. Loopy was imbibed.

NEW SEGMENT- Words of Encouragement From our Broathlete Stuck at a Training in Chicago: 

"You guys missed an intense conversation with an Asian Hawaiian at the bar in wheeling, IL (he's in my class).  But, I did polish of 3 buckets of miller Light (minus 1 beer for the Asian Hawaiian) (5 beers per bucket = 15 beers minus 1 in 4.5 hours/brolympics ready) because, they don't stock Busch light NOR little beer shots (brolympic prop bet next year) - liqueur 43/ heavy whipping cream= delicious. 

Text my ass tomorrow w/ updates.  Heading "down town" Chicago at a HICK honky tonk bar after Saturday morning presentations.  If my team loses tomorrow, I will skull f*ck all y'all.

Btw, incase u drunk bastards don't know, a lot of Hawaiians are Asians."

Opening Ceremonies:

First time ever not having the opening ceremonies by a hockey rink, nonetheless, I challenge anyone to say they still didn't get chills.

EVENT 1- Mega Beer Pong
First year opening event, Mega Beer Pong was not happy just getting us started with the day's games.  It had to up the ante by having a cup of fireball instead of beer mixed in the layout of cups for each side. #weregeniuses

The battle went back and forth as one would imagine.  The commish was having a rough morning, and if I remember correctly voluntarily drank some loopy to try and flush his system.  Unfortunately for Team Red, they never got those last four cups off the table and Team Blue jumps out to an early 1-0 lead.

Team Blue clearly oblivious to the fact that there are still 10 more scheduled events for the day. 

Stats (better use them now as they become non-existant later in the day):

-Sunk Shots- 

Team Red                            Team Blue

Anthony- 2                          Mike E.- 4

Ty- 0                                    Chad- 8 (including Fireball)

Steve- 5 (including FB)       Dave R.- 3

Mike M.- 5                          Dave W.- 6

Nate- 5

TEAM RED 0 - TEAM BLUE 1

Prop Bets:

• MVP/Most Sunk Shots- Chad

UP NEXT:

• HR Derby Heroics
• A Sloppy Horseshoe Battle
• A Memorable Goodbye to Cedar Lanes