Update O'Clock

Hello asshats. Perhaps you remember this blog.  Perhaps you remember what it's all about.  Perhaps you even remember the day that it immortalizes.  For those that don't remember that day, here's the long awaited recap (to the best of my increasingly shotty memory*)

*History favors those that write history

FRIDAY NIGHT IS ALRIGHT W/ ME
The festivities unofficially kicked off Friday afternoon as Weaver and Ty got in a little golf action.  Unclear of what the stakes were.  I think it's safe to assume we all lost.

As Team Green invaded Brolympic headquarters, their strategy of keeping the drinking under control, unsurprisingly deteriorated faster than edible panties on Rose during a Will Clark biography.  Chris consumed anywhere from ten to a bakers dozen busch lights during the second unofficial action of the evening...the three point shooting contest. (complete w/ 3 pt. vine) An instant classic was born.

Miscellaneous items from Friday night:

• Rose arriving w/ gifts as well as his carry-on luggage...consisting of a bowling ball as well as some sort of Seal Team 6 body armor.
• Lewis driving a combined 675 miles after attending a wedding earlier in the evening.  Finally arriving between 1-2 a.m.  His second worst driving decision in a 6 month span. (see Flyers playoff driving debacle, a.k.a. the NJ sight seeing tour)

OPENING CEREMONIES

 Opening ceremony traditions are upheld:

Event One: HOCKEY:

Team Green came into Brolympics with team unity at an all time high.  Emails were being passed around like the clap in a whore house.  Yet, it only took one and half periods for that confidence to come crumbling down.  Everyone from Team Maroon found the back of the net, as Team Green ended up in the loss column once again in the opening event.

This is where the memory issues are going to be a problem.  The final score was either 4-2, 4-1 or 5-2.  And anyone really could have been MVP of Hockey from Team Maroon, but I suppose someone was officially named.  Sorry if this was the highlight of your year.  Give yourself a reach around if you need the ego boost.

Team Maroon: 1         Team Green: 0

Event Two: Home Run Derby:

Team Maroon couldn't have given more of a different defensive look than they did in 2011. (i.e. Ty didn't catch any pop ups mid-field, immediately turn and fire it over the fence in a bizarre, yet helpful twist of strategy.)  Lewis single-highhandedly pulled a number of highlight-reel quality dingers back from the great beyond.  Unfortunately, as the name of the event indicates, Home Run Derby is still primarily an offensive event. 

Team Green rides the back of  Weaver's offensive barrage and secures their first W of the day. 

Team Maroon: 1         Team Green: 1

Event Three: HORSESHOES:

The certified geniuses that we are decided to amend the scoring system for Horseshoes going into this years event.  Instead of playing the best out of 3 games, we decided to go with cumulative points.  This certainly won't come back to haunt anyone.

In one of the first round match ups, Chris carried Mike E. as they squeaked by the duo of Ty and Lewis 15-14.  In other round one action, Nate and Anthony systematically bent the tandem of Rose and Chad over a stool and relentlessly pounded them to the tune of 15-3.

In past years, Team Green would have had a decent chance of pulling out a W with the reliable closers of Chris and Weaver.  Unfortunately they had to get to 15 points before Nate and Motz put up a 4 spot.  Let's face it, Helen Keller would have thrown a +4 on a bad day.  Team Green would have had better odds at beating off in a sock and impregnating a washing machine than keeping Team Maroon under 4 points.  Needless to say, Team Green won the 3rd game 15-11, but lost the event 33 - 40.

Team Maroon: 2         Team Green: 1

Stay Tuned for Part II...coming sometime between now and BROIV, where we take a drink break before basketball...what could go wrong?!!!