Update O'Clock- Part II

Team Maroon found themselves up 2-1.  Meanwhile Jack Bauer infiltrated the Chinese Consulate, disarmed a suitcase nuke, smoked out a mole in CTU, interrogated that mole with lamp wires and a dull spoon, and successfully evaded all cougar traps...all before breakfast.  Unfortunately his daughter did not fair as well...

Event 3.5: POST HORSESHOES DRINKING

Here we witness the three levels of warming up for Basketball...shirtless dancing, more drinking and what I can only assume is some sort of confrontational smack talking.

Event Four: BASKETBALL

 It took three years, but we had our first cluster eff of an event.  Unsurprisingly Mike E. succumbed to the unseasonably warm temps, copious beverages and poor genetics conditioning that lead to his annual leg cramps.  Stephen Hawking would have been more effective boxing out a Brownie pack.  Team Maroon was just toying with Team Green.  Sensing a complete blow out, the Brolympic Gods intervened for some unintentional, team on team violence. 

Motz's face dove in front of Lewis's forearm as if he was Kevin Costner protecting Whitney Houston from an overzealous fan.  What resulted was a 15-20 min delay as phone calls were made to dentists and bandages were applied.  Motz being the warrior that he is, re-entered the game as the incident did nothing to slow the wave of momentum and Team Maroon easily handled Team Green in Basketball for the third year in a row. 

Motz's Wallet: 0    Motz's Dental Coverage: $$$

Team Maroon: 3                    Team Green: 1

Event Five: BOWLING

 After a surely comfortable conversation between our favorite van driver and her co-pilot, we arrived at the bowling alley without any mobile drinking heroics.  In a turn of events that we should no longer be surprised by, the bowling ally essentially had some left over bags of nachos that they sold us at four and a half times the reasonable rate and not the bar feast we were hoping for.  Being the consummate professionals, we did not let this speed bump deter us from our beverage limits or shockingly crazy accurate performances. 

Maroon took the first round with a score of 684 - 638.  Green took the second round 604 - 591.  Oh hey...remember those rules we came up for Horseshoes?  Yeah, we decided to go that route for this event as well.  This meant Team Green had to win the final set by 60 points.  60 points is about 7 frames worth of points for their average bowlers.  Team Maroon left little doubt, and bowled absolutely out of their minds.  Despite Team Green's career best performances from many of their players, their 670 pts. did not even tap the sack of Team Maroon's 701!!!

The Brolympics Commission thought about testing Team Maroon from some performance enhancing drugs, but they were pretty confident all the tequila would mask the results.  Also, other unnamed prop bets were covered during this event. (wink, wink)

Team Maroon:  4              Team Green: 1

Up next...introducing a new event, cornhole domination (heh heh) and a side trip to the golf course.

Update O'Clock

Hello asshats. Perhaps you remember this blog.  Perhaps you remember what it's all about.  Perhaps you even remember the day that it immortalizes.  For those that don't remember that day, here's the long awaited recap (to the best of my increasingly shotty memory*)

*History favors those that write history

FRIDAY NIGHT IS ALRIGHT W/ ME
The festivities unofficially kicked off Friday afternoon as Weaver and Ty got in a little golf action.  Unclear of what the stakes were.  I think it's safe to assume we all lost.

As Team Green invaded Brolympic headquarters, their strategy of keeping the drinking under control, unsurprisingly deteriorated faster than edible panties on Rose during a Will Clark biography.  Chris consumed anywhere from ten to a bakers dozen busch lights during the second unofficial action of the evening...the three point shooting contest. (complete w/ 3 pt. vine) An instant classic was born.

Miscellaneous items from Friday night:

• Rose arriving w/ gifts as well as his carry-on luggage...consisting of a bowling ball as well as some sort of Seal Team 6 body armor.
• Lewis driving a combined 675 miles after attending a wedding earlier in the evening.  Finally arriving between 1-2 a.m.  His second worst driving decision in a 6 month span. (see Flyers playoff driving debacle, a.k.a. the NJ sight seeing tour)

OPENING CEREMONIES

 Opening ceremony traditions are upheld:

Event One: HOCKEY:

Team Green came into Brolympics with team unity at an all time high.  Emails were being passed around like the clap in a whore house.  Yet, it only took one and half periods for that confidence to come crumbling down.  Everyone from Team Maroon found the back of the net, as Team Green ended up in the loss column once again in the opening event.

This is where the memory issues are going to be a problem.  The final score was either 4-2, 4-1 or 5-2.  And anyone really could have been MVP of Hockey from Team Maroon, but I suppose someone was officially named.  Sorry if this was the highlight of your year.  Give yourself a reach around if you need the ego boost.

Team Maroon: 1         Team Green: 0

Event Two: Home Run Derby:

Team Maroon couldn't have given more of a different defensive look than they did in 2011. (i.e. Ty didn't catch any pop ups mid-field, immediately turn and fire it over the fence in a bizarre, yet helpful twist of strategy.)  Lewis single-highhandedly pulled a number of highlight-reel quality dingers back from the great beyond.  Unfortunately, as the name of the event indicates, Home Run Derby is still primarily an offensive event. 

Team Green rides the back of  Weaver's offensive barrage and secures their first W of the day. 

Team Maroon: 1         Team Green: 1

Event Three: HORSESHOES:

The certified geniuses that we are decided to amend the scoring system for Horseshoes going into this years event.  Instead of playing the best out of 3 games, we decided to go with cumulative points.  This certainly won't come back to haunt anyone.

In one of the first round match ups, Chris carried Mike E. as they squeaked by the duo of Ty and Lewis 15-14.  In other round one action, Nate and Anthony systematically bent the tandem of Rose and Chad over a stool and relentlessly pounded them to the tune of 15-3.

In past years, Team Green would have had a decent chance of pulling out a W with the reliable closers of Chris and Weaver.  Unfortunately they had to get to 15 points before Nate and Motz put up a 4 spot.  Let's face it, Helen Keller would have thrown a +4 on a bad day.  Team Green would have had better odds at beating off in a sock and impregnating a washing machine than keeping Team Maroon under 4 points.  Needless to say, Team Green won the 3rd game 15-11, but lost the event 33 - 40.

Team Maroon: 2         Team Green: 1

Stay Tuned for Part II...coming sometime between now and BROIV, where we take a drink break before basketball...what could go wrong?!!!