One Month

Ladies, start stretching your collective groins. No, I'm not asking you all over for an impromptu circle jerk. (Sick F's.) We have one month till the second annual Broylmpics. Thought I'd share a few updates.

DATE

If you are asking yourself, "When is this rager again?", please, please, please mark the date:

OCTOBER 15th BITCHES

SHIRTS

Have already been ordered. Some of you have seen a sneak peak at the design. Classy enough to wear to a high end strip club, not too stuffy to wear a your favorite relatives wake. Ty will hit us up with the details of what we need to kick back to him.

NEW TROPHY

Hypothetically speaking, say I spent a good hour or so in my garage with some recycled plastics, super glue and a drill? Glorious doesn't describe it. Sort of like a 3 a.m. bowel movement after a night out on the town. Sometimes you have to see it to believe it.

Don't worry the good ol' toilet seat has survived two moves and will be around this year to continue acting as our individual MVP award for each event. (It may or may not have been used at 3 a.m. over the last year. No promises.)

WHAT ABOUT THE EVENTS?

Good question dick. They are pretty much finalized and will revealed in an upcoming post. Hopefully in the order of the events with estimated start times.

MISC

The good news is that we don't have to bring our passports to go bowling this year. It's a little closer to home base. We're still trying to work out travel arrangements so that no one has to risk their life riding with Lewis, as he treats getting to and from alley like an 11th event.

Bad news/ Good News- The bad news is I've been having some arm pain (too much YouPorn), but the good news (for my team, not you other f'ers) is that the doctors gave me some steroids. Don't worry, it's in pill form, so none of my teammates have to erotically rub the cream or the clear on my back side.

Finally, I hope you checked out the Turkey Bowl site for a glimpse at Hogg's favorite new boy band and a growing concern over the remodelling choices being made at Moe's.

Challenge

The new park we're playing at has a challenging checklist for us to complete by days end. Although not an official event, there should be a prize for completing the list. Sort of like blackout bingo. Just so you know how to game plan, I figure if my dog can propel itself across the court on a skateboard or bike... powered with explosive diarrhea and fireworks, I'll be pretty tough to beat.

Vino Bong

Was looking up a price on a bottle of wine, when I came across this site:

Notice the highlighted pretentious comment? If you can't read it, it says:

Tasted by Winward on 1/13/2011: Agree with below. Not such a
mouthful as a typical jammy shiraz, but still a little sweet and lacking in
depth. Somehow the flavor leavels one with a slightly empty sensation - a little
synthetic/manufactured (690 views)

I'd like Rose to do a similar review for Green Apple Jooze, or Chris to do one on Busch Light or moonshine. I think that would help class this joint up. Not that the chick flipping over her handle bars into a giant pond doesn't already achieve that goal.

This has nothing to do with anything.

Enjoy:

History Repeats Itself...

(insert your own training montage here)

In order not to hear any combination of the following during hour one of the broylimpics:

1). AED anyone?
2). Even his vomit is bacon scented.
3). That seems about right. (in reference to my life expectancy)
4). No one looses control of his bowels w/ less dignity.

I decided to implement a loose* training regiment. After maneuvering through central PA's largest buffet, and sampling the Fugate's meat basket last weekend I was off to an ominous start.

*like Paris Hilton (minus the copious amounts of STD's) after a bottle of Grey Goose.

I had hoped to hop back on the tread mill with some NCAA 2009 College Football. I fired up my dynasty (last saved in 2008). I remember why I quit playing. A sloppy loss to Illinois washed over me like a Nam flashback. After spotting Michigan 24 points in the first two quarters, I decided it was too detrimental to the health of my fake college program (last touched 3 years ago) to continue treadmill gaming. Being the competitor that I am, I found a comfy position in my recliner and miraculously scored with 7 seconds left in the 2nd quarter to bring the score 24-7. Long story short, I ended up winning 42 - 31. Maybe the 4th best day of my life.

I'm no physician, but my heart rate was certainly up, so I've decided to stick with my tried and true mode of achieving heart rate acceleration...porn and sports.

I think the results speak for themselves.

+ 2 pounds

Special Message

Print this out and hang it above your bed.

(next to your A.C. Slater centerfold)

Bulletin Board Material

On how Ty's new place is generally a centralized location for everyone except for Rose and Anthony:

That's what you get for moving to shitsburg. F*ck him. Quote me on that.

- Chad L. (six beers deep*)

*at least