(insert your own training montage here)
In order not to hear any combination of the following during hour one of the broylimpics:
1). AED anyone?
2). Even his vomit is bacon scented.
3). That seems about right. (in reference to my life expectancy)
4). No one looses control of his bowels w/ less dignity.
2). Even his vomit is bacon scented.
3). That seems about right. (in reference to my life expectancy)
4). No one looses control of his bowels w/ less dignity.
I decided to implement a loose* training regiment. After maneuvering through central PA's largest buffet, and sampling the Fugate's meat basket last weekend I was off to an ominous start.
*like Paris Hilton (minus the copious amounts of STD's) after a bottle of Grey Goose.
I had hoped to hop back on the tread mill with some NCAA 2009 College Football. I fired up my dynasty (last saved in 2008). I remember why I quit playing. A sloppy loss to Illinois washed over me like a Nam flashback. After spotting Michigan 24 points in the first two quarters, I decided it was too detrimental to the health of my fake college program (last touched 3 years ago) to continue treadmill gaming. Being the competitor that I am, I found a comfy position in my recliner and miraculously scored with 7 seconds left in the 2nd quarter to bring the score 24-7. Long story short, I ended up winning 42 - 31. Maybe the 4th best day of my life.
*like Paris Hilton (minus the copious amounts of STD's) after a bottle of Grey Goose.
I had hoped to hop back on the tread mill with some NCAA 2009 College Football. I fired up my dynasty (last saved in 2008). I remember why I quit playing. A sloppy loss to Illinois washed over me like a Nam flashback. After spotting Michigan 24 points in the first two quarters, I decided it was too detrimental to the health of my fake college program (last touched 3 years ago) to continue treadmill gaming. Being the competitor that I am, I found a comfy position in my recliner and miraculously scored with 7 seconds left in the 2nd quarter to bring the score 24-7. Long story short, I ended up winning 42 - 31. Maybe the 4th best day of my life.
I'm no physician, but my heart rate was certainly up, so I've decided to stick with my tried and true mode of achieving heart rate acceleration...porn and sports.
I think the results speak for themselves.
+ 2 pounds
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