A Ravishing Reminder

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 1

That's Rank- Three-Point Shootout

This year we will be trying out the Three-Point Shootout as one of the main events.  This was tested successfully last year, during the unofficial Research and Development Camp held on Brolympic Eve. The results were highly favorable.  This will of course replace full court basketball for at least this year.  This was done for a couple of reasons:

Reason 1

 Reason 2

 (X-Ray of Mike E's calf muscle during basketball)

Reason 3

One team plays like these guys, and the other plays like their opponent.

THREE-POINT SHOOTOUT

The Three-Point Shootout has all the fun of NBA Jams, but in a real life setting.  During the R&D camp last year, we tested three shots from five different spots around the arc.  Two balls were worth one point each. The final shot was done with a smaller ball, aka- the money ball, and was worth two points.  I believe we'll have at least three full-size balls to shoot from from each spot, but am thinking we may end up at five.  The money ball is still to be determined, even if it's not the small ball, I think the last shot of each location will end up counting for two.

 Can you spot the jug of busch light?

 

PROS:

• Very beverage/ chew/ cigar friendly
• Entertaining for spectators
• Almost zero running (minus chasing balls down the hill)
• Three words: THREE. POINT. VINE.
• Slight less chance for busted faces (beware- bricks will be laid)    (And I'm not talking about Chad deucing)
• Location friendly.
• Flexible scheduling- Daytime or Nighttime event. 
• Highly quotable event- Almost filled quote board during R&D last year

CONS:

• The easy prop bet of "First not to complete event" is now more difficult
• Less Dental Claims
• No chance for "Rebound Machine" Rose to reclaim MVP of Full Court Basketball
• Champs still favored to win

FINAL RANKING:

Though it has never been played during the actual competition, this seems like a can't miss good time.

NES Brolympics

On a particularly fruitful brainstorming session on the way out to Pittsburgh, this pie in the sky idea was formulated about how great it would be to end the night with a NES Brolympic game.  Sort of in the vein of Track & Field, but it would have elements of RBI Baseball, Double Dribble, and Blades of Steel as well.  Can you picture Rose funneling some Jooze as a power up?  Chris running out of chew and losing a life?  The bowling alley not having food and everyone getting sloppy? (oh wait...)  The options are limitless.  The only minor hurdle we're running into is that we don't necessarily know a quote/ unquote video game designer.

Thinking the idea was still pretty strong, I spent a shocking amount of man hours crafting the following images*. 

*staring at online images of you

I'm no expert, but I think the results are pretty fun, and hope to expand on the idea in the future.  Without further ado...

NES BROLYMPICS

 Two separate collectors edition covers.

Team Detail:

Player Detail:

Hope you enjoyed.  I'm going to take a break from looking at colored blocks for a while, and start my vigorous training.  Less than two months!

Brolympic Films Presents

Historic And Pivotal Pro Wrestling Match from Brolympic III.

Editors note: These will be the first time Chris has witnessed how Brolympic III ended.

That's Rank- Bowling Edition

Welcome to the latest installment of "That's Rank".  This week, we're tackling a Brolympic classic.  Maybe the most pivotal event of the day.  That's right...Bowling.  

Bowling

 Bowling is where momentum swings occur.  I'm not talking about the actual outcome of the event, as that has been historically one-sided.  I'm talking about individual momentum. Being the half-way part of the day, you're either starting to fade due to poor conditioning (excessive jooze funneling), or you're kicking it into another gear.  Including the actual drinking games, this may be the "thirstiest" event of the day, and the performances on and off the lanes are often legendary.  However, if you aren't careful, bowling may make you MIA for the rest of the day.

I doubt I need to explain the glorious splendor of this event any further.  Instead, let me remind everyone how crazy the scores were last year:

Game 1

Team Maroon: 684

Team Green: 638

Game 2

Team Maroon: 591

Team Green: 604

Game 3

Team Maroon: 701

Team Green: 670

Can we please look at the 3rd game once more.  SEVEN HUNDRED AND ONE...WTF guys?!  PBA much?!  And for the record, 670 for Team Green with the Erno Handicap couldn't be replicated with bumpers, that's how locked in we were.  Enough of living in the past, pro/con time m-fers.

Pros:

• All around entertaining.  A LOT going on at the alley.
• Copious amounts of beverages.
• Thirsty van rides.
• Van driver conversations
• Airing your nuts out over the air vent
• Fashionable footwear
• Rose's bowling shirt
• Rose's letters for his bowling shirt
• Prop bet "souvenirs"
• Sober up face slaps
• Tequila

Cons 

• Tequila
• False advertising by bowling alley (re: table taps, or anything resembling food)
• Not Rock n' Bowl 
• Also not Savannah's
• Oh for Three

FINAL RANKING:

OMG a BINGO PLUS?! UNHEARD OF!!!

Get Fired Up

Brothers from mostly different mothers,

I apologize for the recent inactivity.  For the second time in 4 years, I've encountered the scourge commonly known as vertigo, but you may have heard it called, "Oh f#ck, get me off this boat, why the ef is the room spinning, holy sh!t...barfgasm"

Although it may have kept a few "That's Rank" posts from being published over the last couple of weeks, there is plenty behind the scenes work still transpiring that would put a little starch in your pecker, if you know what I mean*.

*boner

Since we're almost at the two month warning I wanted to tease a little of what we have to look forward to:

• More "That's Rank" event rankings with a potential guest reviewer.
• Another new series of posts that I think you will all really enjoy
• Updates on events
• Selection Show Announcement
• New 2013 Player Introductions
• Breaking Bad/ Football Season/ New PJ album & Tour
• And much more... 

So stay tuned.  There's more ideas than ever floating around out there, and they're pretty awesome, we just have to harness them into a feasible reality.  Needless to say, the production value of BROIV should be off the charts.