September 22- ABWD

Wanted to try and figure out the best way to remind everyone of the date for Brolympics III.  I did some interesting research. Turns out Sept. 22 is former Mets clubhouse firecracker thrower Vince Coleman's birthday, as well as 1800's English Scientist/ LOST inspiration Michael Faraday's.  Also the steel strike of 1919 started on this date in PA.  But I'm sure you knew that already as well.  What I'm guessing you didn't know is that September 22 is American Business Women's Day. ( If you did know that, please hit the "X" in the top right hand corner, and then go punch yourself in the genitals for the shame you have brought upon this special occasion as well as the male gender as a whole.)

 How fitting, that ABWD is Sept. 22 and what a surprise!  So I google imaged searched the most appropriate image I could find for ABWD and this is what I found:

 I'm assuming this is the logo they put on their letter head and beer coozies.  Either way, use this as a memory device.  I now hope that Sept. 22 is burned into your psyche like the virtual herpes that are burned into those clip art panties. See you in 6 1/2 weeks, bring the Valtrex, leave the cannoli.

BROLYMPICS II RECAP - FINAL RIGHTS

The timeliest of recaps ends....NOW. (insert your own foreboding music)

Where last we left off, Team Navy was up 4 - 2 for the day heading into the inaugural event of:

EVENT SEVEN- LADDER GOLF

I have to be honest.  I don't remember much about this event either.  And it's not like it was "Mike at Bowling" not remembering, just an eh...not that exciting of an event.  Thus it being eliminated from this years festivities.  However, I think it may make a strong comeback in future years if we ever decide to light the balls on fire.  Just a thought.

I do know Team Orange pulled this one out of their collective asses and climbed back to with in one point.

TEAM NAVY 4 - TEAM ORANGE 3

Also, I snapped this absurd pic:

Someone better tell Anthony "jerking off the invisible man" isn't an event.

EVENT 8 - FLIP CUP

If year one taught us anything, it's that Team Orange (minus two players plus the Erno's going twice) aren't nothing to eff with when it comes to flip cup. Unfortunately for Team Orange, that wasn't the case this year.  Suspiciously there is no evidence of this event, as I would like to review what each of us were drinking.  I suspect the cups ranged from watered down goat piss for some, and microbrews with a side of nos for others. Team Navy prevails as the night starts to spiral out of control.

TEAM NAVY 5 - TEAM ORANGE 3

EVENT 9 - SUPER BEER PONG

Team Orange jumped out to a commanding lead.  They whittled down their cups pretty fast, but had a hellacious time clearing the table.  As the game drug on, madness ensued..

Not pictured (in no particular order):

• Ty obliterating the contents of Motz's wallet with a Iky Woodsesque spike to the drive way.
• Chris dropping half a sequoia tree on the fire.
• Pigott sacrificing some Tequila to the bonfire gods/ firebombing Ty's driveway.
• Chad dropping deuce #2?
• Team Orange barely holding for the victory to yet again pull them with in one point.

TEAM NAVY 5 - TEAM ORANGE 4

EVENT TEN- NES SPORTS CHALLENGE

The second brand new event and last event of the night was the NES Sports Challenge.  Each player faced off against a player from the opposing team in one of the Classic Nintendo sports games of yore. (or any sport game we could find on the Wii).

(the following match ups and individual results may not be 100% accurate...sue me bitches)

First up was Weaver vs. Lewis in DOUBLE DRIBBLE.  This was a blood bath.  Understandably so.  This game is as much in Lewis's blood as Chris has copious amounts of Grizzly in his. This was a Team USA vs. Nigeria situation.  Easy win for Lewis.

Next up was Mike vs. Pigott in BLADES OF STEEL.  Mike jumped out to a seemingly insurmountable lead in the first period.  Half way through the second, Nate started getting a feel for the game (and/or muscle memory from 20 years ago) and he made a game of it.  Ultimately Mike held on to win.

Chris and Ty took aim at Baseball.  Not RBI baseball...the very basic baseball.  As Chris hasn't picked up a controller since maybe this game came out, he's not a fan of this event.  Fortunately he was still working on his case of Busch Light and that no one is really that good at this game.  Ty and Chris were all tied in the bottom of the last inning.  Ty had runners on first and second, and hits an easy double play ball to the second basemen that should have forced extra innings.  Inexplicably Chris's second baseman stayed crouched like he was taking a dump on the outfield grass. Instead he was metaphorically taking a dump on Team Orange's hearts.  Bases chuck full of Ty's Team Navy guys.  There was talk of playing the outfield shallow, but then we remembered that Q-Bert had more options than this game. Ty hits a soft liner just over the tubby shortstop's arms and wins the game 2-1.

*you may ask yourself, "Why the eff do you remember so much detail on that game?"  Answer: most of it is filmed for prosperity's sake.

Chad takes on Anthony for a little Ice Hockey action.  None of this was on tape.  I'm pretty sure Chad won 38 - 4.  Regardless it wasn't close.  So for those keeping score, the NES sports challenge is all tied up at 2-2 going into the last game of the event. 

TECMO BOWL. 

Rose vs. Motz

I don't think a write up will even do justice.  Let's go to the bullet points:

• Rose had the high powered  Raiders with Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen.
• Motz was the high powered Giants with Lawrence Taylor playing coked out of his mind.
• Seriously LT had approximately 9 interceptions.
• No TD's were scored in this game
• Let me repeat that stat...No TD's were scored in this game.  A game where Bo Jackson or Marcus Allen had a 75% chance of ripping off a 80 TD, there were none to be had.
• Both teams combined for under 7 points.
• One team combined for 6 points.
• The other team was shut out.
• A shut out is when you score ZERO points.
• Final Score NY Giants (Motz) 6 - Raiders (Rose) 0.

FINAL BROLYMPIC SCORE:

TEAM NAVY 6 - TEAM ORANGE 4

Back to Back Brolympic Champions.



A Brief Word About the Holiday

America! F Yeah!

BROLYMPICS II BLACKOUT RECAP- PART II

Where last we left off, Team Navy was up on Team Orange 2-1 heading to the rape party van on the way to the Bowling Alley.  This is all I remember from that trip:

EVENT FOUR- BOWLING

And this is what I remember from Bowling:

and then...

Team Navy up 3-1

EVENT FIVE- HORSE SHOES

Somewhere during this event, I unexpectedly became the answer to one of the prop bets. You can tell from my camera angle, I was taking it easy.

Also during this event, others were working on their prop bets:

Speaking of prop bets, Chris E. was probably two cans of dip in and winning Team Orange horse shoes at this point of the day.  Unfortunately there was no award for best hair cut.  He would have won in a landslide.



Really unsure of what's going on in this picture.  Chad is heading to the hills, as if Chris is chucking shoes at him. 



TEAM NAVY 3 - TEAM ORANGE 2



EVENT SIX- CORNHOLE

As per usual in the best of three format, this tightly fought contest came down to round three.  Team Orange jumped out to a commanding lead, only points away from tieing the day at 3-3.  Not entirely sure of the score at this point, I consulted Lewis.  He estimates Orange was up 19-3.  I may go jump off a bridge if we didn't close 19-3. 

Any how, Lewis goes on to toss about three monster turns (scoring 10 pt. turns) and destroy Team Orange's hope of heading into the last four events all tied up.  Another legendary proformance in the early, yet prolific history of the Brolympics.

TEAM NAVY 4 - TEAM ORANGE 2

UP NEXT

The debut of Ladder Golf, I can't believe they deliver pizza out here, and hey Doc...there appears to be a discrepancy in what each of us are drinking during flip cup. 

BROLYMPICS II FUZZY RECAP- PART 1

Nothing could be more timely, than a recap of an event that roughly happened at the beginning gestation period of a new born human. In other words, we tapped Brolympics II's ass and you just got served papers to pay child support!

(not sure the analogy works, but I'm keeping it.)

As with most of the days events, there are going to be gaps in the narrative and picture taking.

OPENING CERAMONIES

B2 kicked off as it did last year, with our olympic bonging of a beer.  Rose definitely gave me Mohammad Ali/ '96 Summer Olmpics Torch lighting chills with his performance.

EVENT ONE- HOCKEY

Periods 1 and 2 were a back and forth defensive struggle.  Team Orange kept things close, but decided to switch things up going into the 3rd period.  Trying to spark the team by putting Mike E. in net and moving Lentz's "fresh legs" to the court.  I haven't seen a move that backfired so quickly, since that co-ed followed Ben Roethlisberger into a bathroom stall.   Team Navy scored some insurance goals as they went up 1-0 for the day.

On the plus side, Team Orange didn't soul crushingly lose 7.27 seconds into OT like year one.

EVENT TWO- HOME RUN DERBY

In a moment this author will stack up next to any graduation, promotion, wedding or birth of a child, Team Orange tied the day at 1 - 1, with a home run barrage from Mike E. He couldn't have done it with out Rose's absolute meat pitching performance or Ty's inability to stop himself from throwing sure outs over the fence.

EVENT THREE- BASKETBALL

The day is starting to get away from me here.  I know Team Orange kept it closer than many anticipated, and I remember the court being much easier to run back and forth compared to the hockey rink.  Deluca tried to do his best Magic Johnson impression (minus the HIV and horrendous late night talk show).  I also remember a tree branch falling on someone and Weaver almost losing his MCL, ACL and Hymen.

Also, Breaking News: Lewis has had about 52 wet dreams in anticipation of this years game.

P.S. Navy wins in a competitive game.  Up for the day 2 - 1.

INTERMISSION

Up next: Van Rides, Bowling Mayhem, and the never ending Horse Shoe game with way more photo documentation from the day. 

Boom

Administrative Update

Uhhhmmm...yeah, I'm going to need you to provide some feed back.

Hey dickheads.  We got to get our shit together and bang out some whores details.

ITEM #1
A date of September 22 has been tossed out there.  Text, send a crow, email, whatever, just let Ty or I know asap if that date will not work.

ITEM #2

Expansion.  Do we add a player to each team to have 6-6?  Pros: Sub for hockey   Con: Less couch space to pass out on

ITEM #3

Teams.  Trades? Redraft? Keep the same?  Last year came down to the last event, last game of that event.  Who knew Rollie Fingers was going to get shut out in Tecmo Bowl?

ITEM #4

Events. Almost half of us met the other day and I think we have the basic 10 events we're looking at, we just need to fine tune the nature of the events.  i.e. Basketball (full court vs. 2 on 2) or what type of Football event to have.  Any new brilliant idea, please share.

Craiglist ad for personal cheerleader/ "Bodies" duet partner for Rose.

ITEM #5

We're all obviously idiots, why else would be be doing something so awesome?  But to help minimize the idiocy of our actions we're continually trying to idiot proof this. (i.e. by getting a driver last year)  This year I'd like to float the idea of:

1. Password protecting this page so that we're the only ones w/ access to it.

2. Everyone bring a solid water bottle to drink from during the park/ public events. 

We all have nice jobs.  Some of us depend on their license for work.  Water bottle may be more discrete than having cans sitting all over the rink or ball field.  Plus, we already discussed having them on the nets so the goalies don't miss out on all the hydration. 

Obviously there will be more fine tuning as we get closer, but we really need to solidify the date so that no one is getting married, giving birth or spending ridiculous amounts of money on plane tickets for that day.

Looooong overdue recap of last year to follow.