Nine Times: Recap Part II

When last we left, Bro HQ had been sent back to the stone ages w/ an electrical blackout.  Thankfully this reviewer had already inflated his airbed for the night.

FRIDAY A.M.

After a dinner on the town and some beverages, the bathroom was in high demand first thing in the morning.  Unfortunately for us all, the downstairs throne was inoperable due to the power still being out.  What. A. Disaster.  Some early morning business may have already transpired in the bathroom, yet the toilet was not interested in taking that specific transaction.  I was sweat pacing, as I had an appointment myself, and was at least second in the morning cue.  Driving to the golf course was beginning to sound like a prudent option.

We eventually went upstairs to see what was what and bumped into the sleep deprived, jet lagged, hornitos craving Commish.  He got the generator going and HQ had some temporary reprieve.  Bowels rejoiced.

The fellas from downstairs clocked in at 7:30 a.m. for the day, as others finished their a.m.business meetings.  Everyone started to form like Voltron down at Iron Valley, as miraculously we didn't miss our tee time.  

Prop bets were monitored.

An unofficial ball hunt was conducted.  

Prop bets continued to be monitored...although at a cost.

Believe it or not, some golf was played as well. 

We like big putts and we cannot lie. 

Pictured: A six part series documenting a Team Ernogasm

A bonus as the years progress, is that more and more video is being captured.  Good news for us, bad news for the FBI watch list team that has to comb through all the additional Rose footage.

Thirty-six holes provided more laughs and good times than can be properly documented, and Team Erno took down the afternoon scramble.   

PROP BETS:

• Longest Drive from Hole #1: Weaver
• First Sand Trap: Mike E.
• First to Lose Ball: Nate
• First to Complete Par or Better for Team: Mike E.
• Closest Drive to Pin on Hole 5: Weaver
• Teams that don't land on the green on Hole 5, Over/ Under .5: Over
• Combined Lost Balls on 7, Over/ Under 2.5: Over
• First Hole w/ Hornitos, Over/ Under 3.5: Under...WAY Under.
• Number of Busch Lights for Chris, Over/ Under 11.5: WAY Over. 
• Team Winning Score, Over/ Under Par 3.5: Under
• First Quote on Quote Board, Over/ Under 8.5 syllables: Under

UP NEXT:

• Selection Show
• Opening Ceremony
• Chuck Gets Frisky
• Rose Gets Beefy at the Derby

Nine Times: Recap Part I

Holy Hell fellas...can you believe we're still doing this?! #livingthedream As per yoos, we're not exactly printing film recounting our beloved weekend, so expect the same stellar accuracy as past recaps. (Although we're getting pretty damn close with all the documented content.)  Without further ado,  welcome to the Brolympic IX recaps. (part 1 of a 100 series*).

*lord I hope that's not true

PREAMBLE
As is the case every year, excitement begins to build about a month out.  Group texts are flying, trash talk is tossed around, the occasional training regiment (i.e. BM movement) is shared...and then every once in awhile, a legendary video emergences from the shit. Channeling his inner Balboa, Nate sent this masterpiece:

I kept refreshing Chris Mortensen's twitter feed for updates as we approached BRO IX.  The Commish was out west tuning his three putt, and making caddies retrieve unreleased swag from Pacific adjacent cliffs.  Meanwhile, a couple members of Team Erno were fighting some flu like symptoms.  One member of the team, risked failing a Brolympic piss test while fighting his flu with copious amounts of bacon, Busch Light and whatever the hell this is:

THURSDAY:
Whatever was in it, it must have worked because we started getting pictures of this:

And then this:

And before you knew it Chris was the first one to clock in for BRO IX.  Meanwhile, Ty was still on the West Coast...missing flights and putting his Friday Golf Game in question.  He had little to worry about, as his unofficial grounds keeper cut grass and then awaited the arrival of his children from the bus along with his in-laws.  It would have been a terrific premise for a TGIF sitcom.   

Chuck also clocking in. 

The early insights were already off the charts:

After his annual contraband stop, Anthony arrived at Bro HQ.  Looking like a Chuck E. Cheese on wheels, Mike E. rolled in shortly after.  These three Italian studs unpacked and then measured and laid out a slightly superior volleyball court to the "Playing w/ the Boys" era, BROVIII's court. (to be fair, that court looked like it was drawn by a no-armed parkinson patient on roller blades) Trying not to creep out the Commishes family, especially the in-laws, the cast of Goodfellas made their way into town to grab a bite and a couple of drinks.  There were talks of other Bros joining us Thursday night, especially due to the early tee time, but Chad was the only one who made it.

Much to Ty's dismay, he would not be making it back to HQ until around 2 a.m. Friday morning  The four Bros made themselves at home in the bottom of BRO HQ and hunkered in to watch the Browns try to earn their first victory of the 2018 season.  Unfortunately around 11:15 p.m., Ty's house lost power.  Cornwall went darker than a late afternoon spelunker in an Anchorage cave. Fear not, The Notorious A.N.T. saved the day and found the radio broadcast as we listened to Cleveland's biggest win since Lebron's 2016 championship.

UP Next:

• Jet Lagged Commish
• 36 Holes of nonsense and Hornitos
• The Selection Show Swagathon

Coming Soon...