Brolympic VII Recap: Part Five

Something tells me a 10 event competition shouldn't take 5 updates and 8,000 words to cover, but listen...I don't play by your rules.

EVENT SIX: FOOTBALL TOSS
After the photo shoot with the van driver, BROVII transitioned to the sometimes controversial Football Toss.  Rose, evidently worried about his shirt restricting his range of motion, brought sexy back:

Caption curtosey of Motz-  "Because Vlad Loves you"

Round One:

Mike E. started this best of three rounds off for Team Erno with a six point round.  Anthony, powered by some Grizzly,  followed for Team Fugate with a 6 point round of his own.  Game tied 6-6. 

Chad was up next for Team Erno and tossed in a 4 point performance.  Ty, suffering some arm fatigue from the last game of bowling, also threw a 4 point round.  Game still tied 10-10.

Sitting in the bullpen after their turns.

Weaver, looking to put some points on the board, doubled Team Erno's points with a ten point round.  Lewis followed for Team Fugate and was just about up for the challenge of keeping pace with Dave, scoring a strong 8 points of his own.  Team Erno up 20-18.

BSPN spared no expense with exclusive camera placement this year.

Chris followed up for Team Erno dropping 8 more points on the competition.  Nate also up to the task answered the bell with 8 points for Team Fugate. Team Erno clinging to a 28-26 lead.

Vladimir came in to close the door for Team Erno and threw...you guessed it, another 8 point round.

Motz was Team Fugate's final hope, but came up just a tad shy joining the crazy eight parade.  Team Erno ekes out a 36-34 round one victory.  

Round 2

Mike E. found a little bit of lighting and opened the second round by riffling in the eventual game high 14 points. Anthony couldn't keep pace with his Italian cohort, and tossed a four spot.  Team Erno enjoys an early 10 point lead, 14-4. 

Up next for Team Erno, Chad adds another half dozen points.  The Commish matches Chad's 6 with 6 of his own.  Team Erno still holding on to a 10 point lead.  20-10. 

Weaver hammered home a robust 12 points, but in a gunslinger's duel, Lewis answered with 12 of his own.  32-22 Team Erno.  Chris added 4 for Team Erno,  with Nate following him with 6 points.  Team Erno's lead down to 8 points, up 36-28. 

Is that Chop Suey I hear?  Rose emerges from the pen once again to shut the door on Team Fugate and zips home 8 points.  Motz needing to score 16 to force a tie in round two, fell a few points shy with a 3 spot.  Team Erno wins Round two 44-31, as well as the event, tying the day at 3 events a piece. 

PROP BETS:

• MVP: Mike E. was jotted down in the official BRO VII stat book, even though Weaver definitely had the most total points, besting Mike's 20 by 2 points. 

TEAM ERNO 3 - TEAM FUGATE 3

EVENT SEVEN: HORSE SHOES

FINALLY the broathletes get to put all of Mike E.'s hard work Friday morning to use...well...sort of.  In series of questionable events, they decided to forgo playing this event while the sun was shining.  At all. So, on the edge of the woods, under the tree canopy, with the sun dipping down behind the horizon, they decided to start throwing chunks of curved metal at each other. Helen Keller playing dodgeball in a dark cave was not as visually compromised as these Mensas.

In an attempt to increase the safety of this event, Mike E. pulled his truck into the yard to shine his headlights at the pits, effectively blinding one side of the competition that much more.  In a shit show of an event, Team Erno prevailed with Weaver and Mike E. beating Anthony and Nate 15-2, while Chris and Chad vanquished Mike M. and Ty 11-4. (I believe called due to Marcellous like darknesss)

Team Erno may have just taken their latest lead in the day in Brolympic History.  

PROP BETS:

• First Ringer: Weaver
• Most Ringers by one Player- Over/Under 2.5: UNDER
• MVP: Weaver (probably scored all 15 of his and Mike E's points)

TEAM ERNO 4 - TEAM FUGATE 3

EVENT EIGHT: CORNHOLE

This is by far the part of the evening where there is less and less documentation as to what transpired.

Considerably less documentation.

PROP BETS:

• MVP: Ty

TEAM ERNO 4 - TEAM FUGATE 4

EVENT NINE: FOOSBALL

There was some down time leading up to the start of Foosball.  Time for Santa Deluca to release his intermission entertainment program. The audience was riveted.

The first match up of the evening found Anthony and Mike M. vs. Rose and Chad.  Rose and Chad Pele'd the competition in a competitive game 10-8.

The second match up pitted Steve and Nate vs. Weaver and Chris. In another tightly contested match, Team Fugate took down Team Erno 10-7, drawing the need for a third match.  

The rubber match pitted Ty and Motz vs. Mike E. and Weaver.  Team Fugate's zone defense was no match for Weaver's wicked wrist action.  Team Erno prevails 10-3.  For the first time ever, Team Erno has reached the 5 win mark.  Although by this time of the night this reviewer didn't have a firm grasp of the score.

PROP BETS:

• Combine score of deciding game, Over/Under 16.5 points: UNDER
• Most goals in one game by one person, Over/Under 5.5 points: OVER
• Player w/ most goals in one game: Weaver
• Number of goals in one game by our favorite defensemen, Juan, Over/Under- 3.5 points: UNDER
• MVP: Weaver

TEAM ERNO 5 - TEAM FUGATE 4

EVENT 10: DARTS (CRICKET)

Once again, this reviewer doesn't have much to go on for this event, because of...reasons.

Mike E. taking a breather in between turns at darts. 

(for the wives, family members or potential future employers that may be alarmed/ worried/ disgusted, please know this picture is approximately 90% staged*.)

*minus 100

While some were losing steam, others were still going strong:

Moonshine + Busch Light makes Chris a happy boy. 

Those that were still documenting the evening say this fella went on a hot streak to help Team Erno win the event...and thus...THEIR FIRST BROLYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP!  There was much celebrating:

But much like his cousin back in BRO III, Mike E. vanished. This fuzzy Italian, Irish Goodbye'd BROVII hard. It took a few minutes to realize he wasn't there.  Meanwhile, Chris had a HORNITOS! surprise for him in the celebratory cup.

Luckily Weaver and Ty found Mike E. and brought the celebration to him/ on him. 

DARTS PROP BETS:

• First to close out a number: Rose
• First to hit bullseye: Rose
• First to break a tip: Chad
• First to miss board: Anthony
• MVP: Chris

TEAM ERNO 6 - TEAM FUGATE 4

That does it for another exhausting yet, entertaining trip down memory lane.  Thanks to all the bros that make this weekend so special and memorable. It's an honor.  Congrats to Team Fugate for their historic run.  Great work Team Erno to over come a 1-3 deficit and close the day 5-1 for your first title!  Can't wait to see what record breaking performances will transpire in Brolympic VIII.  Till next time.  

Brolympic VII Recap: Part Four

EVENT 4- THREE POINT SHOOTOUT

After three events, Team Fugate is up 2 -1 and heading into another heavily favored event- Three Point Shoot Out. The shooting order selected randomly the night before:

As you can see, the Brolympic Gods smiled on Team Fugate when they matched up Steve and Anthony as the anchors of the last two rounds to go up against notorious ballers Mike E. and Chad.  As a reminder, this event is a best of three round format.  Players shoot from 5 different spots on the court.  3 shots per spot. 2 regular balls worth one point each.  One "money ball" (mini ball) worth two points.

Mike E. and Chad preparing to anchor Team Erno.

Chris started round one for Team Erno with 4 points.  Motz knocked in 3 points to leave Team Erno with a 4-3 lead.  Rose followed with a respectable 5 point performance, besting Nate's 4 point round. Team Erno still clinging to a lead, 9-7.  Mid way through the first had Weaver matching Rose's 5, while Ty matched Nate's 4.  Team Erno up 14-11. A dark horse performance from Mike E. found him putting in a short lived game high of 6 points.  Steve feeling disgusted by his teams performance in this event, and especially at the site of a bloated Italian banking home half a dozen points, went off for a new game high, 11 points.  Team Fugate now up 22-20.  Looking to salvage the round for Team Erno, Chad knocked in a valiant 3 points, to put Team Erno ahead by a precarious one point with one shooter to go.  Anthony quickly vanquished any delusions of a Team Erno first round victory with a 6 spot of his own.  Team Fugate takes round one, 28 - 23.

 Both Steve and Chris showing excellent form.

Chris opened Round 2 with 6 points, giving Team Erno a little life.  However, recent HR Derby King, Mike M. was still feeling it, and matched Chris with 6 points of his own.  Round 2 tied 6-6.  Rose followed with a 4 point performance, but Team Erno couldn't find any separation as Nate xeroxed Rose's performance with another 4 points.  Round 2 still knotted up at 10 a piece.  Weaver joined the four party but the Commish broke the tie in a big way with an 8 point round.  Team Fugate up 18-14.

Chad fueling up before a pivotal 2nd round match.

Mike E., sensing he had some work to do, immediately shit the bed with a 2 point round, and Steve continued to add some cushion for the Champs with a 6 point round.  Team Fugate up 24-16. Down to their last shooter, Chad came out firing for Team Erno and scored a team high 7 points, but anyone with a second grade education can do the math, Team Erno was cooked.  With zero stakes, Anthony cruised to another 7 points to close out Round 2 with a score of 31-23 in favor of Team Fugate.

PROP BETS:

• Highest Round: Lewis 
• Highest Round for Single Player Over/Under- 9.5 points: OVER
• First Air Ball: Chris
• Mike Total Points Over/Under- 7.5: OVER (barely) 
• MVP: Lewis

TEAM ERNO 1 - TEAM FUGATE 3

LUNCH BREAK/ VAN RIDE

After some much needed lunch, the new and improved van arrived to take us to the bowling alley.  Like Home Alone, we did a count to make sure we had everyone in the van.  Only needing the fingers from both hands, it was easy to tell we were only missing two. Moments later, the Commish and Weave arrived from the garage with their hands full of half and 3/4 spent liquor bottles, as if they were packing for a bachelor party on the Oregon Trail. To be fair, we didn't know how long we'd be stuck in the van and it's better to be safe than to be sober sorry.  

 There's a guy that knows how to handle some DUDE.

 That's one way to fight dysentery on the Oregon Trail.

More shots from the luxury ride. 

Like any good stewards of Earth, we had some recycling to do once we arrived. 

EVENT FIVE- BOWLING

With the closing of Cedar Lanes (RIP), we returned to our Brolympic I location, Palmyra Bowing Alley, and most importantly to Chris...the Sinkhole Saloon.  Down 3-1 for the day, Team Erno finds themselves in a familiar situation heading into this fan favorite event.

GAME ONE:

Anthony opened game one with a strike for Team Fugate.  Unfortunately Palmyra does not have radar guns, but we did watch a little girl turn 6 and 7 before his ball reached the pins.  He remained mostly quiet for the rest of the game before notching a spare in the 9th and finishing with 108.  Mike E. opening for Team Erno and responded with a surprising spare.  To his chagrin, he struggled the remainder of game one, tarnishing his lone bright spot, a strike in the fifth frame, with a double gutter ball performance in the sixth.  The Motz line may need adjusted, or renamed, as he finished with an 86.  Speaking of Mike M., he sat with a score of 80 going into the 10th frame.  He would need a miracle to get to triple digits.  As if on cue, he strike, gutter ball, spared his tenth and extra frame to reach 100 points.

Chris followed for Team Erno and marked in 7 of his 10 frames, including a strike in the 10th to score a healthy 136.  Nate kept pace by marking in 6 of his 10 frames, including a strike of his own in the 10th for a robust 140.  Dave W. starting slow (for him) found himself with a 91 after 9, but promptly strike/spared his 10th and extra frame to finish with a 111.

Ty also had an uncharacteristic round for himself (dream round for Mike E.) but he was in prime condition with the extra curricular events that always transpire at bowling. Marking in three frames with two strikes, he finished with a 106.

A pivotal moment in the first game found Ty and Rose matched up in the final frame with Team Fugate up by about 10 points.  Both Ty and Rose were coming off spares in the 9th. Ty opened with a six and Rose followed with a nine.  Ty only got half of his remaining pins and Rose closed the door with another spare.  Chaos ensued...

Celebration gone wrong, or unintentional proctology exam?

Rose started slow, but ultimately found his A Game with 6 of 10 marks, including Strike, Strike, Spare, Spare in the final four frames. His 150 would be the high mark for game one.  Also enfuego, Steve had an amazing 3-8 frames, marking in all but the 7th, including 3 strikes.  He ended with a 138, as well as snagging the first gutter ball prop bet honors. Chad sealed the deal for Team Erno, littering 4 spares throughout the round and finished with 119.

Bowling Game One: Team Erno 602 - Team Fugate 592

GAME TWO:

This recap is getting entirely too long.  Let's jump to some high lights:

• Not the "greatest" of rounds for Team Erno.  Weaver bowled out of his mind, marking in 7 frames for a team high 159.  Rose had 114, Chad 102, Chris 99.
• Somehow the event got worse for Mike E. as not only did he fail to mark, he failed to hit pins on one of his attempts for each of the last 6 frames, bottoming out at a wincing (and potential Brolympic Low) 74 points. 
• On the flip side, Team Fugate were lights out bonkers.  Lead by Motz's 70 point swing from game one, every single player landed in triple digits.  Despite knocking down three strikes, Anthony had Team Fugate's team low of 111 points. (Which was three points away from tying Rose for second place on Team Erno). Ty picking up steam, bowled a 131.  Nate had another strong performance with 135 points, as well as Steve picking up 139.  But the dude that is having a sneaky good BROVII, Mike M. crushed with 170 points. His first six frames were Spare, Strike, Strike, Strike, Spare, Spare.  He then spared the 10th frame just for fun.  

Bowling Game Two: Team Erno 558 - Team Fugate 686

Now before we get around to the rubber match, lets dive into some of the previously mentioned side adventures-

Not pictured, approximately 14 pitchers of beer, multiple baskets of wings, and Chris buying Little Beers (shots) for us, as well as a complete stranger at the bar.

Pictured...these gems:

The game may have cost four quarters, but the superfluous pointing was free. 

 

GAME THREE:

Nitty gritty recap time-

• The big game hunting must have helped, because Chris and Ty went off in game three.  Ty marked in an incredible 8 out of 10 frames for an event high 175.  Chris marked 7 times, but 4 of them came in the 8th, 9th and 10th frames, finishing spare, strike, strike, strike for a total of 168.  
• Anthony and Steve both marked 6 times a piece for matching 137 scores.  Motz came back down to earth with a 79 and Nate finished with 91. 
• Mike E. got off the schnide with a team low 118, as Chad's 123, Rose's 119 and Weaver's 149 provided the bounce back game that Team Erno needed to win Game 3 of Bowling as well as the event. 

Bowling Game Three: Team Erno 677 - Team Fugate 619

Despite taking pictures of the scoreboard throughout the event, a certain reviewer had no idea Team Erno had won bowling.  The entire van ride back to Bro HQ he was under the impression that Team Fugate was ahead 4-1 for the day.  Speaking of the van, some more prop bets were covered:

PROP BETS:

• Pictures w/ Van Driver: Over/Under 3.5- OVER
• First Strike: Anthony
• Highest Score in One Game: Ty
• Score of Highest Scoring Player: Over/Under 170.5- OVER
• Lowest Bowling Score: Mike E.
• Score of Lowest Scoring Player: Over/ Under 92.5- UNDER
• Highest Team Bowling Score in One Game: Over/ Under 695.5- UNDER
• First Gutter Ball: Lewis
• MVP: Weaver (Highest total score 419, besting Ty by 5 points)

Team Erno 2 - Team Fugate 3

UP NEXT:

• God Willing, the Rest of the Day
• "Ew this isn't Busch Light!!"

Don't Poke the Bear

Brolympic VII Recap: Part Three

EVENT ONE: SUPER BEER PONG

For the second year in a row, we kick off the day with some pong.  At this time of the morning, everyone was easing into the day at their own speeds.  While the Commish was working on his morning cup of joe, Chris had a Busch Light for each hand.  (Foreshadow alert for event #1.)  Here was the order established at last night's selection show:

Team Erno jumped out to an early lead, knocking out a decent amount of cups, but Team Fugate chipped away at that lead to tighten that window late in the game. They were lead by Nate's Steph Curry-like performance knocking down a game high 5 shots.  Santa Deluca's 4 shots weren't the only shots he brought to the table.  His mini bottles of fireball made an appearance in one cup per team.  Being similar in color to beer, the "loser" of that round was greeted to an early morning cinnamon warmness in their tummy.  It was essentially an alcoholic Cinnabon, so that's why no one really felt all that bad for whomever got stuck with the cup.  And if you couldn't tell, I'm dancing around the fact that we don't have record of who the lucky SOB's to suck them down were.  I feel like I could have volunteered for one, but that may be revisionist history* on my part.  

*like 85% of these recaps

Less of a guessing game was how the remainder of the event panned out.  Team Erno had almost even contributions from everyone, with Mike E. leading the team with 4 shots.  Ultimately, the consistency of Team Erno took down Team Fugate with a score of 15-13.  Learning their lesson from last year, there were no uncalled for celebrations after taking a 1-0 lead for the day.  

TEAM TOALS:

Mike M.: 1          Rose:      3

Anthony: 4          Mike E.: 4

Steve:      3          Dave W: 3

Nate:       5          Chad:      2

Ty:          0          Chris:      3

PROP BETS:

• Most Sunk Shots: Nate

MVP: Nate

TEAM ERNO 1 - TEAM FUGATE 0

EVENT TWO: STREET HOCKEY

Prior to this year's event, there was much chatter regarding the setup of hockey.  Run the court side to side? 10 min periods? Just forfeit the game to Team Fugate?  Of course we landed on full court, 15 min periods...because we don't care about the livelyhood of this author.  The second full court was established,  Barry Melrose listed Mike E. as "probable- lower body injury/ fat".

We found ourselves back at the historic outdoor Cornwell rink.  Like a 90's co-ed couple in oversized sweaters, the first period started with both sides feeling each other out. Team Fugate controlled time of possession early, which equated to better and more frequent scoring chances.  Nate opened the scoring for Team Fugate, and Steve found the back of the net shortly after.   2-0 champs.

Team Erno clamped down the D in the second period and didn't allow the opportunities for Team Fugate that they enjoyed in the first period.  The ones that they did, Chad ate up like an oversized slice of Lorenzo's.  On the other side of the court, Anthony was pitching a shutout and the rest of Team Fugate was out hustling Team Erno to the ball. Late in the 2nd period, the ball kicked out to Mike E. around the attacking blue line where he lifted his stick to the sky and unleashed a patented Erno Cousin's Brand slap shot.  Instead of blasting it out of the rink like many of his practice shots, this absolute laser beat Anthony high glove side and cut the Team Fugate lead in half.

Team Erno entered the third period with renewed optimism, feeling that they could push this game to OT, if not outright win it.  Both teams battled, but ultimately Nate put the game out of reach with a third period goal for Team Fugate as they stayed the Kings of the Brolympic Hockey world with a 3-1 victory and an undefeated lifetime record in the event.

PROP BETS:

• First Goal- Nate
• MVP- Nate
• Combine Goals: Over/Under 6.5- UNDER

TEAM ERNO 1 - TEAM FUGATE 1

EVENT THREE: HOME RUN DERBY

The day is tied at one a piece heading into event three.  Because of how much fun we had last year, Home Run Derby was once again played in the Cornwall Hockey Rink.  And because we're smart like a fox...a fox that started their day with a drinking game...after 10 plus hours of drinking the day before,  we've never placed home plate at the same distance year to year.  Thus we never know if we should expect a bomb fest or a pitchers duel.  

Steve started things off for Team Fugate with a what turned out to be a very reputable 4 spot, as well as an absolute bomb.  Speaking of bomb, Chad followed for Team Erno in the bottom of the first round with a deuce. Team Fugate with the 4-2 lead after the first round matchup.   

Back to back BROVII event MVP Nate was up next for Team Fugate.  Someone light a candle, because he followed Chad's deuce with a deuce of his own.  Mike E. was up next for Team Erno.  He doubled down on the recent deuce party and put up another four spot to tie the event at 6-6. 

The Commish, starting to get in his Brolympic groove, mashed 4 of his own, while Rose joined the deuce parade to finish off round 3.  Team Fugate 10 - 8.  

Mike M. went off like a roman candle, exploding for 7 dingers to put Team Fugate up by 9.  Bro VI hero Dave W. was able to get half those runs back with a four spot, but Team Erno still found themselves losing 17-12 after four.

The Notorious A.N.T. hit a trey to give Team Fugate an 8 run lead.  Chris would need to have the best round of the day to give Team Erno a chance.  After a few early outs, he strung together a few long balls, as Team Erno was hoping for the best.  Those hopes were quickly dashed as a loud pop was heard after one of Chris's swings.  Unfortunately it was not the sound of the bat hitting the ball.  With his left arm hanging at his side, it was easy to tell that his reoccurring shoulder injury had made it's first Brolympic appearance at an inopportune time.  Chris waved off the help of at least three people with medical backgrounds and decided to push his shoulder into the outside wall of the hockey rink and pop his shoulder back into joint.  He was unable to continue the round, but fortunately is being considered for the roll of Riggs in Lethal Weapon: The Musical.  

Team Fugate prevails, 20 -15. 

PROP BETS:

• Player with Most Home Run's Hit: Over/Under 6.5- OVER
• Furthest Home Run Hit: Lewis
• MVP: Motz

TEAM ERNO 1 - TEAM FUGATE 2

UP NEXT:

• Three Point Shoot Out
• New Driver, New Van, Same Blood Alcohol Content 
• A favorite BRO I location making a reappearance 

Brolympic VII Recap: Part Two

FRIDAY EVENING:

After another pleasant round at Iron Valley our crew headed to the clubhouse for some refreshments and dinner.  Always looking to provide nourishment, Chris bought a round for the guys...a round of cheesecake. Instead of purchasing by the slice, he bought the entire pie at the discounted price of sixtyfive(ish) dollars. Midway through dinner, we suffered our first casualty. One can only assume he had experienced a touch of jet lag from his GA to PA flight.

After a standing ten count from guest referee Mills Lane, Rose was escorted back to Bro HQ for some rest and recuperation.  Unfortunately he was still having trouble acclimating back to PA time, and missed the start of the new and improved Selection Show held in the new and improved outdoor amphitheater of Bro HQ.

Some highlights:

Uh oh...Rose is up for a Virtual Wild Card Wheel Game...lets check in on him...

I think the altitude is higher in PA...you gotta be careful. 

Three quarters of the way through the selection show we received a message from inside Brolympic HQ.  Our sleeping Georgian received a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct (all over the carpet). Time out for damage control.  After a brief break, and some black magic by Nate to restore the proper carpet nap, we resumed the show...

HEY Look who's back?!  Refreshed from his siesta, Rose made it to the podium to accept his swag.

With the conclusion of the selection show, all event orders and matchups were set.  Shortly afterwards, the fellas scattered to their assigned nooks and crannies inside Bro HQ for the evening.

OPENING CEREMONIES 

The morning came far too soon for some of our athletes.  Even after a hearty breakfast, some were finding it hard to get moving.  Chris found some early morning inspiration to be fired up, as he found some discarded cheesecake on the side of Bro HQ. "That's at least $8!" Luckily Rose was ready to rip with his annual starting of the games.

                

 

And with that ceremonial funnel, the Seventh Annual Brolympic Games had officially begun!

PROP BETS:

• Selection Show Start Time: Over/Under 8:30 p.m.- UNDER
• Rose sings "Bodies": FALSE
• Pipes Smoked O/U 1.5: OVER
• Opening Ceremony Funnel Time: Over/Under 3.5 Seconds: OVER
• First to Deuce: Lewis

UP NEXT:

• A little post breakfast pong
• Maybe the last hockey game ever
• A Darkhorse MVP for HR Derby