BROIV Recapatation

Do not adjust your browser, underpants or proxy settings...this is really happening.  This is not some malicious code that has bypassed your firewall due to copious hours of online wanking ...marital research.  This is the real deal Holyfield.

Alright guys...full disclosure.  This was always going to be a "fuzzy" recap.  The fact that we're now 7 months down the rabbit hole does not bode well for an all encompassing, uber accurate recount of this glorious October weekend from 2013. 

IN THE BEGINNING....
It rained.  And it rained some more.  And after that, it rained a shit ton more.  Luckily, I had already received a message from the big man upstairs....Al Roker.

 My neighbors were mocking me..."portable horse shoe backstops"?  "Feh!"  They stared as I loaded them two by two (with a helpful assist from Anthony...perhaps trying to butter me up before the weekend rumble) (helpful note...a handy and a shot of whiskey will always trump manual labor when "buttering" me up) (another tried and true method...actual butter...like the sculpture from the farm show...never doesn't work). Back to the task at hand...One foosball table, 10 wiffle balls, 15 hockey sticks, 2 croquet sets, 2 basketballs, horseshoes, an eight foot table, a bingo roller, vintage NES games, a box of liquor and a cooler of beer...among many other items. If the reset button was going to be hit on the world, we were going to get a head start.

I drove my overloaded, water logged, Sanford and Son wannabe ark down the turn pike...ready for Armageddon.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Instead of the golf scramble, where I was pleasantly hoping to wow everyone with my raw untapped natural ability, we were forced to go drink and eat due to the bikini bottom* like conditions of the golf course.

*You will be delighted to be made aware that this reference works two ways:
  1. As a shout out to my son and his favorite animated show
  2. A natural physical condition that affects swim suit models when they stand too close to me.

Experimental beers and mixed drinks were enjoyed.  As always, we were well on our way to properly pacing ourselves for the following days events.

SELECTION SHOW
Friday evening brought about another first for the ever improving (hopefully) Brolympic games...the first ever "Selection Show".  There is some video and other pictures from this event floating around...sadly I'm in possession of neither. The first big surprise of the evening was our host/ co-commissioner/ curator of Brolympic HQ arriving in a tux for the Selection Show. Real class act, and if I can say...really set the tone for the evening.

The selection show had a little bit of everything.  Randomized event match ups were determined, entrance music, the greatest use of Facetime I've ever seen, hashtags, mini-games, t-shirt reveals, unsolicited screaming into an ipad, and perhaps the biggest surprise of the weekend:

The completely randomized match ups:

 

 

 As the selection show wound down, the evening took a fairly typical turn. The quote board began to fill up with gems such as:

     "I pull my censored out when I spin."
     "I'm not familiar with Megan's Law, so let's break it!"
     "It's far from blown."

Team building was also at an all time high:

While others took an opportunity to bone up on some skillz...

The least surprising outcome of the evening was the scant regard for personal preservation any of us had for the following day.

Up Next:
- Opening Ceremonies
- Miracle on non-ice?
- Hey this part of the day actually sounds familiar!
- And much more!!!