Yup

Happy Labor Day Weekend Everyone!

Meat & Potatoes

Fellow Brolympians,

You've all been getting a steady stream of eye candy lately in the form of fluff posts. All good fun.  I hope you've been enjoying them and haven't OD'd from the volume of content.  I thought it would be prudent to pop in and give a post with a little more substance, thus the Meat & Potatoes.  News that will stick to your ribs.  

Potential shopping item?

By my estimation, this is what some of you are still waiting for:

• Event Listing and Rules- finishing touches being added
• Schedule of Events- ditto
• Selection Show-*NEW*- in development
• Fees- the bang for the buck should be off the charts
• Prop Bet Extravaganza-very soon (last years was released at this time)
• Starting Lineups- on my 7th draft
• Packing List- wank mop may or may not be included this year

I'm sure there will be plenty more Photoshops along the way, but business will need to interfere with the horseplay on occasion.  If you couldn't tell by the 20 posts this month, I'm getting pretty effin excited.  Cialis be damned! To temper that last mental image, I will leave you with this reminder; enjoy your labor day weekend, because after that it's your:

SIX WEEK WARNING

OCTOBER 12, 2013

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 7

 

And Santa...if you're reading this:

BOOM!

Media Presence

As the Brolympics continue to grow in the national spotlight, it was inevitable that the media would soon gravitate and try to capitalize on our innate awesomeness.

Perhaps you've caught the new nightly show devoted to discussing the potential event match ups and showcase previous years highlights.  I really enjoy the Bong Gems segment. 

Berman was clearly not a fan of one of the promotional posters for this years games.

And I'm sure we all DVR'd the all-Brolympic episode of PTI.  While I don't agree with everything they said about Rose, it was nice to be recognized on the national stage. 

Brolympic Films Presents: Remember When?

Remember back at Brolympic I, when Simms bonged two Joozes in under 15 minutes?  Unclear if it was due to the stellar play on the court or Nantz's incessant analyst on the limitations of wearing work boots to play basketball.

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 6

Hard Knocks: Off Season Workouts- Part II

This week on Hard Knocks: The Life of a Brolympian, we take a look at how the Champs are working like hell to stay on top of the ever so competitive Brolympic food chain:

Some take up hobbies, like chimney repair.

While others collect junk by the fist full.

Flexibility exercises combined with the ghost massage was perhaps the most unusual activity caught on film.

Until we stumbled upon those seeking the help of this personal trainer and/or nutritionist.

Perhaps the thing that brought the champs closest together was the team bonding retreat to Kerri Strug's Dude Ranch/ Dance Emporium.

 Stay tuned for more exciting episodes of Hard Knocks: The Life of a Brolympian

That's Rank- Quick Fire Wildcard Edition

There are a handful of events that are often lobbied for when in search of new blood to add to the the Brolympic Games.  Due to my lack of preparation for this coming Fantasy Football season (not to mention that I'm about a month behind on my Fantasy Hockey prep) and a smidge of mental exhaustion, I can't formulate an entire post that would be worthwhile on each of these current non-contenders/ Friday-type events.  So to not gloss over some potentially entertaining events we will be doing a quick fire style review. 

Dodge Ball:
 We've all played it.  It is awesome.  The thought process is we would play in the hockey rink, side to side.  Standard rules apply.  You catch a ball, the thrower is out.  The ball hits you in the air and you don't catch it, you are out.  To make the game more challenging, you would need to be holding your drink the entire game.  Since these are just ideas and not actual events, the details aren't fleshed out.  I'd assume we would do a best of three rounds type of thing. Pro: Unintentional comedy of potential head/ nut trauma.  Con: The media stirring up a concussion controversy.

Solid idea.

 







Shooting Accuracy Contest- Hockey:
I know for a second, some of you were super pumped at the thought of this being a fire arms accuracy contest.  The legal and safety division of BroHQ feel that could spell disaster.  This is the accuracy contest popularized at the NHL All-Star events (whenever they'll have one again, no one knows).  There are four targets placed at the four corners of a goal.  The person who hits all four the fastest in an allotted amount of time wins.  Pro: Easy, quick event to get in.  Con: There is already one classic hockey related event.

Possible fill in for an event in a rainy day situation.

Scramble Golf:
We will set sail on the maiden voyage of this Friday "just for fun" event this year.  I may or may not be qualified to review a sport I've never officially played. I mean...I've driven balls, putted balls and virtually hit hole in ones, so if I'm not THE expert authority on this sport, I'm pretty damn close. How Scramble Golf has been explained to me:  We play based on teams.  We all hit our ball.  You then get to choose the location of your next shot based on the best location of one your players drives/shots/ putts.  Seems pretty straight forward and the potential for an epic afternoon is high.  Pro: Nice way to ease your self into the weekend.  Sort of like climbing into a scalding hot whirlpool.  If you go full throttle, you're going to singe some sack hairs.  Con: The amount of lost balls the novice hackers will be responsible for. (avg shot per hole = 4.  Rounds of golf = 18.  18 x 4= 72 potential lost balls per hacker)

FOUR!

Soccer Shootout:

Much like Field Goal kicking, I admit I've often scoffed at the notion of this being a legitimate contender.  I must have softened in my old age, or I'm drunk, but it doesn't sound so horrible.  I think only one person would excel at stopping shots, and I think some of us would find it difficult to even hit the net; (I know, I'm doing a great job at selling this) But yet again, the unintentional comedy factor is off the charts for this one. Pro: The hilarious potential for someone to shred a groin...not necessarily their own.  Con: Location logistics.

Potential diamond in the rough.

Onto the rapid, rapid fire round:

Knockout:
Pro: Driveway events are the best.  Con: Already a super fun basketball event in driveway.

The 7th grade me loves this game.

 






Bocce Ball:
Pro: Italian Pride!   Con: Can't play both Bocce and Croquet.

Potential Future Friday Contender

Football Toss:
Pro: It looked pretty.   Con: Not as functional as hoped.  Needs modified to be successful.

Anticlimactic in it's current form.

 







Badminton:
Pro: Two words.  Shuttle. Cock.    Con: Waffle marks on your face via errant racket swings from your partner.

Took this as a college credit.  I excelled.

Thanks for reading. Remember, if you disagree with any of these rankings, you are sadly mistaken.  Have a great day!

Special Edition

Hard Knocks: Off Season Workouts

This week on Hard Knocks: The Life of a Brolympian, we take a look at the constant runner-up's off season workout regiments:

 Some spent a weekend at Strock Farms.

While others went to scenic Siberia

We built log-cabin-style outhouses.

We also created a new internet meme, similar to Planking/ Tebowing...

I call it Jesus Christing.

While the Dave's worked out their water resistance bro-hugs.

Stay tuned for more episodes of Hard Knocks: The Life of a Brolympian

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 5

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 4

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 3

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 2

A Ravishing Reminder

NES Brolympic Adventures: Series 1

That's Rank- Three-Point Shootout

This year we will be trying out the Three-Point Shootout as one of the main events.  This was tested successfully last year, during the unofficial Research and Development Camp held on Brolympic Eve. The results were highly favorable.  This will of course replace full court basketball for at least this year.  This was done for a couple of reasons:

Reason 1

 Reason 2

 (X-Ray of Mike E's calf muscle during basketball)

Reason 3

One team plays like these guys, and the other plays like their opponent.

THREE-POINT SHOOTOUT

The Three-Point Shootout has all the fun of NBA Jams, but in a real life setting.  During the R&D camp last year, we tested three shots from five different spots around the arc.  Two balls were worth one point each. The final shot was done with a smaller ball, aka- the money ball, and was worth two points.  I believe we'll have at least three full-size balls to shoot from from each spot, but am thinking we may end up at five.  The money ball is still to be determined, even if it's not the small ball, I think the last shot of each location will end up counting for two.

 Can you spot the jug of busch light?

 

PROS:

• Very beverage/ chew/ cigar friendly
• Entertaining for spectators
• Almost zero running (minus chasing balls down the hill)
• Three words: THREE. POINT. VINE.
• Slight less chance for busted faces (beware- bricks will be laid)    (And I'm not talking about Chad deucing)
• Location friendly.
• Flexible scheduling- Daytime or Nighttime event. 
• Highly quotable event- Almost filled quote board during R&D last year

CONS:

• The easy prop bet of "First not to complete event" is now more difficult
• Less Dental Claims
• No chance for "Rebound Machine" Rose to reclaim MVP of Full Court Basketball
• Champs still favored to win

FINAL RANKING:

Though it has never been played during the actual competition, this seems like a can't miss good time.

NES Brolympics

On a particularly fruitful brainstorming session on the way out to Pittsburgh, this pie in the sky idea was formulated about how great it would be to end the night with a NES Brolympic game.  Sort of in the vein of Track & Field, but it would have elements of RBI Baseball, Double Dribble, and Blades of Steel as well.  Can you picture Rose funneling some Jooze as a power up?  Chris running out of chew and losing a life?  The bowling alley not having food and everyone getting sloppy? (oh wait...)  The options are limitless.  The only minor hurdle we're running into is that we don't necessarily know a quote/ unquote video game designer.

Thinking the idea was still pretty strong, I spent a shocking amount of man hours crafting the following images*. 

*staring at online images of you

I'm no expert, but I think the results are pretty fun, and hope to expand on the idea in the future.  Without further ado...

NES BROLYMPICS

 Two separate collectors edition covers.

Team Detail:

Player Detail:

Hope you enjoyed.  I'm going to take a break from looking at colored blocks for a while, and start my vigorous training.  Less than two months!