BV- Recap: Part II

With the day on the course over, our competitors headed back to Bro HQ for some grub and the 2014 Brolympic Selection Show!

The Commish put on his traditional tuxedo and the selection show 2.0 was a go.  During the drawing of names for the first two events, swag and shirts were given out. The grade A swag for this years event were custom baseball cards of every athlete and a celebration of the history of our sport.  Catch a glimpse of those butes on a previous posting or some of the flashback cards below:

 The team shirts were customized with nicknames on the back this year.  Much to the delight of some of our brolympians:

Event match ups were picked and the wild card wheel made it's debut:

Categories on the wheel:

• Know Your Bros: Questions about the past five years of Brolympic history
• Homer: Drink
• Celebration: Our selection show host would pantomime famous sports celebrations and eventually end up with a bloody knee recreating Jesse Orosco's 86 World Series celebration. A quick clean of the wound with some American Honey and the show was back on track.
• Bro MTV Raps: Semi-obscure rap lyrics from the greats would be read, everyone had an opportunity to guess the artist/ song.  Anthony would ultimately answer 100% of these questions.
• Mike E's Knock-Out: 2-4 (damn memory?!) Bro-athletes would compete in a round of knockout at the Bro HQ basketball hoop.
• I'm Your Huckleberry: Take a shot/ chug your beer/ get a boner thinking about Tombstone
• Rotten Tomatoes: A game where the host lists a classic or fan favorite movie and you have to guess what the combined critics score is on the movie review site, Rotten Tomatoes. 
• VS: One on one Flip Cup/ get a boner thinking about Tombstone.

Up Next:

• Let the games begin
• All day golfing/ selection show catches up with some
• More Tombstone/Boner Talk

BV- Recap: Part I

Oh hey!  Hello! Been refreshing this page for the last 6 8 months?  Yeah, me too.  Apparently these recaps aren't going to write themselves.  I've been waiting for some artificial intelligence/ nano-bot technology to extract this info from the deep recesses of my brain.  Sadly sticking a USB cord in my ear and plugging it into the computer resulted in the worst smelling wax warmer since Yankee Candle's "Dog Shit and Stink Bug Medley".

Considering I can't remember last week, this is going to be a bumpy ride.  Hang tight folks.

THURSDAY- PM

With my truck packed like I was not so secretly smuggling illegals across the Mexican border, I invaded Bro HQ, and immediately took over 3/4ths of Ty's garage.  I preceded to systematically displace his family before setting up residence in his basement for the next three nights.  Hindsight being 20-20, perhaps a 36 year old should not be sleeping on two levels removed from slab concrete.  Needless to say the punishment my body took during the next few days were not eased by a T.O.-like hyperbaric chamber in the evening.

Not pictured- Me... or vertebrates L1 through L5, fused together from sleeping on floor.

FRIDAY- AM

The early morning golfers departed for the golf course while I prepared for the selection show scheduled for later that evening. (i.e. I got Super Tecmo Bowl working on the big screen and dusted off 13 year old Mike's run and gun Eagle's offense) 

Occasionally I'd get an update from the course:

Otherwise I worked on finding my zen (i.e. daydreaming of the Super Tecmo Bowl Cheerleaders) and enjoyed the surrounding nature by watching two sure to be rabid raccoons hanging in the day light by the fire pit. (A full day too early to clean up Weav's bout of vomitosis.)

FRIDAY- Mid Day

Chris arrived at Bro HQ and Team Erno started their Voltron like transformation.  We each grabbed a few pounders and set off to find Ty, Anthony, Weaver and Lewis on the golf course.  Due to our years of familiarity with golf courses, this journey may have taken approximately 45 minutes longer than anticipated. We did so much walking, we were once mistaken for a Lord of the Rings movie. 

At least we were well hydrated. From there on, players continued to make their entrance on to the golf course as if they were wrestlers entering the Royal Rumble. 

Oh my god, is that System of  a Down I hear?!!

Everybody's going to the party have a real good time.
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine...BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME!

The end of morning golf transitioned into the Scramble. Which gave us plenty of memories:

And even better technique:

Not pictured, Team Erno's unexpected dominance on the course, including an incredible birdie on Hole 5 (a.k.a. the Island Hole), and an abundance of HORNITOS!  

Prop Bet Results:

Longest Drive Hole #1: Weaver

First in Sand Trap: Rose

First to Lose a Ball: Mike E.

Tequila Side Bets: Over 5 1/2

UP NEXT (Hopefully):

• Selection Show
• Wildcard Wheel
• Swag 
• Going to be a long night...

Bonus Feature: Behind the Scenes

ESPN's 30-30 documentary series was following us around in preparation for this past years games.  Here is a sneak peak at some of the bonus features of the yet to be titled DVD:

Wild Card Wheel Prep:

Occasionally there are collateral damages when building Brolympic material.  I always wanted a hot screw burn. (zing)  I only wish this was a valid excuse for my piss poor performance in Hockey, HR Derby, Horse Shoes, Soccer Shoot Out, Bowling, Three Point Shoot Out, Football Toss, life, etc...

 The inception of the Wild Card Wheel- 1st Draft

Feel Free to print your own and play at home with your family!

The Wheel in Action

Celebrations:

Here is the breakdown of the Celebration Category.  For those of you playing at home, if someone landed on this category, the celebration would be reenacted pantomime style with no verbal cues.  The person who spun the wheel would then have to guess the celebration.  Seemed like a good idea at the time...smash cut to me pouring moonshine over on an open wound. What am I talking about, BOTH GREAT IDEAS!

Don't tell me you don't have an itch to play NBA JAMS after watching this! 

I SAID DON'T DO IT A-HOLE!!

Unfortunately, there was much more male toplessness at BROV than this.

Also unfortunate...not nearly enough Freddy Mercury. 

How awesome is this video? 

 Rhetorical question dipshit, funnel some Dude if you even attempted to answer.  

The execution of this one had too many steps, AND lead to the aforementioned bloody knee. Nostalgia is a fickle beast.

(fast forward to the 2 minute mark for the actual celebration)

(jump to the 1:50 mark to find out who the Miller Lite Player of the Game was)

Possibly a top five memory of not just my childhood...but my entire life.
(the big play takes place at the 3:15 mark)

Recaps, more behind the scenes and off seasoning planning to follow. 

BROV SWAGGER

Keep your pants on, this is NOT the earliest Brolympic Recap since BROI, I'm still mentally and physically rehabbing this Adonis of a body.  For all your friends and co-workers that tangentially hear bits and pieces about this glorious day weekend, here is some of this years swag in digital format.  Share if you're inclined, light your computer on fire if you're not. (unfortunately those appear to be your two best options)

Saturday's Events

A Bare Boned Introduction to Saturday's Main Events:

OPENING CEREMONIES  (8 a.m. Cornwall Borough Park )

• 8 a.m.?  Wishful thinking after Friday??  We'll see. 

HOCKEY  (8:15 a.m. Cornwall Borough Park)

• Five on Five
• Three 15 minute periods. 

HOME RUN DERBY   (9:45 a.m. Cornwall Borough Park)

• Batting order determined by Selection Show with teams alternating batters
• Wiffle Ball
• 10 outs per batter (any swing not a HR = out)
• One Round per batter.  Cumulative team home runs determines winner.
• Outfielders must keep drink in hand at all times.

HORSE SHOES   (10:30 a.m. Cornwall Borough Park)

• Best of Three Rounds played in baseball infield
• Teams of two and their match up order determined by the Selection Show.
• Play to 15, win by 2
• No points for shoes that bounce off back board 
• Leaners = 1
• Ringers= 3

SOCCER SHOOT OUT (11:45 a.m. undisclosed location)

• One on one match ups determined at selection show.
• Two rounds
• Each round's match ups will be random
• Five Kicks per person per Round
• Cumulative Points Win

THREE POINT SHOOT OUT    (12:30 p.m. Ty's House)

• Two Rounds- Shooting order determined by Selection Show (teams alternate turns)
• Five spots to shoot from around the vine per round
• Three balls to shoot from per spot (Two Regular Balls= 1 pt., and One Money Ball= 2 pts.)
• Cumulative Points Win
• Team that has shooter is responsible for chasing down loose balls (that's what she said)
• If time is tight, may push to after bowling or do one round before and one round after. 

FLEXIBLE FOOD TIME

• We'll have some meatballs, etc. again to consume before bowling.  Take advantage. 

BOWLING/ VAN RIDE   (1:30 p.m. pick up from Ty's House to Cedar Lanes)

• Best of Three
• Bring Money for Three Games/ Shoe Rental/ Beverages

FOOTBALL TOSS 2.0

• Alternating order to be chosen at selection show
• There will be three different size holes (zing!) One point, two point or five point hole.
• Each person will have sixty seconds to score as many points as possible.  
• The remaining four teammates are responsible for retrieving balls and getting them back to thrower.
• One person from other team will be responsible to keep score

CORNHOLE   (Ty's House)

• Best of Three
• Games to 21, win by 2
• Teams of two and their match up determined by Selection Show

FLIP CUP (Ty's House)

• Five on Five
• Best of Seven

SUPER BEER PONG (Ty's House)

• Minimum of 15 cups used per side.  
• Standard Beer Pong Rules Apply

 LORD MANLY CUP PRESENTATION

• Hang some plastic, and bring your ski goggles. Things may get sticky.

Sneak Peek

You'll get to see the Full Monty tomorrow night at the SELECTION SHOW!!!

Updated Forecast

DESTRUCTION!!!